1) Namedroppers

Being in LA, I have met a lot of name droppers. They should all die. Look, I dont care that you are friends with someone that was in a movie. I dont care that your mom works for some famous. I was at a bar hanging out with friends and friends of friends.  This dude comes up to me and says he is an actor. “Oh cool” I replied. “What project are you working on?” I asked politely (I really didn’t give a shit). He responds that he isn’t even supposed to talk about it. But he says ” I dont know if you know them but have you heard of Harvey Weinstein? Yea, he is producing it.” I really wished he would fall on broken glass.

2) Internet Shit Talking

Please look at the pictures below.

That’s all I gotta say about that.

3) People that say they won’t order anything at a restaurant but when the food comes they take some from everyone else’s plates.

I know a few people like this. They say they aren’t hungry. Really?! Then why the fuck are you at a restaurant? This is just a sign of people cheap and shady all at the same time. They are being chady. Get it? Cheap + Shady. Nevermind its late. All I know is that next time someone pull this shit, I am going to pull out leather gloves and slap the fuck out of them.

4)Ugly girls that think they are hot

Look, confidence is always great but being delusional is a problem. I aint the best looking dude in the world and a lot of you will say well you dont have the right to call someone ugly. I completely disagree. I know ugly better than most. I don’t go out there thinking I am gods gift to women. All I am saying is, if you are a female that is about 5’2 weighs about 135lbs then you aint got no business wearing low rise pants. You don’t need to be at the pool with a 2 piece bikini. Thongs are really not needed.

And if you are a busted female, you dont need to be pretentious and snobby. That just doesn’t make sense. Be nice because that is the only way someone might want to have sex with you. That and a handle of whiskey.

5)Shitting right after a shower.

This happened to me this morning and I have been in a foul mood ever since. Its like all that work of cleaning your body was for naught. Dammit! And since you came out of shower, things are a little moist and now you gotta use a ton of tp to clean out that sloppy, damp, shitty ass. Ugh! Or you gotta go into the shower again. I chose option A. Im in idiot, I know.