I find it kind of funny how minorities are kicking white people’s asses in academics. Even in English! Sure we have accents and may not be the best writers in class but just look at the national spelling bee. Those Indian kids are kicking everyone’s ass. Here are a list of names of the champions of Scripps National Spelling Bee for the last 7 years:
2002 Pratyush Buddiga
2003 Sai R. Gunturi
2004 David Scott Pilarski Tidmarsh
2005 Anurag Kashyap
2006 Katharine Close
2007 Evan O’Dorney
2008 Sameer Mishra
In the last 7 years, 4 of the winners were Indian. You may be saying, those kids aren’t all Indian. Some are from Pakistan or other South Asian country. Well for the sake of this tale and my ignorance, im going call them all Indian. If you don’t like it, write your own tale. So my point is, they are taking over. Well I too have a spelling bee story. I was in the second grade and I was enrolled in school spelling bee. I totally owned everyone in my grade which got me a spot at the regional spelling bee. Training for the spelling bee proved to be quite difficult because the only person that was able to train me was my father. This was a problem because my dad really didn’t know how to pronounce any words properly. His rule was for every word that I mis-spelled, he would hit me. Needless to say, I got my ass kicked often for a couple of month. Plus even if he did pronounce it properly, he was unable to provide a definition or put the word in a sentence. So for homophones you are fucked. I was also pretty scared of my father. He was a 6 foot Korean man that used to teach taekwondo back in Korea. He was also a perennial manual worker. This meant that when he comes to smack you around you are gonna feel it.
So after all that training, I got to the regional spelling bee. I was working the other kids. I thought I was going to win this damn thing. After about 15 rounds, the only two kids standing are me and some Indian kid. So, it is my turn and they give me the word. The word is zucchini. Here is the problem. I am a Korean kid from East LA. There aren’t any zucchinis in the hood. Korean cuisine really doesn’t incorporate zucchinis either. So I had no idea what they were. Anyways so I try to stall by asking for the definition. Still nothing. I asked them to put it in a sentence. Again not a clue. So I remembered my teacher saying that if I don’t know how to spell it, just sound it out and spell it phonetically. So that is what I did. I spelled it Z-O-O-K-I-N-I. The whole auditorium started laughing. Like really hard. Even the proctor woman started laughing and through her laughter she says you are incorrect. Then she starts laughing again. What a bitch! The Indian fucker knew how to spell it and won the regional.
My mom who happened to be in the audience was pissed. Remember how my mom hates losers? Well she yelled at me. Saying how is it possible I don’t know how to spell zucchini. So I asked her, “Do you know what a zucchini is?” She says of course she doesn’t because she is not from this country. But since I am, I should definitely know what it is. After her yelling at me in the parking lot, she takes me to Ralphs near our house. We walk into the Ralph’s with all its bright lights and smell of produce and flowers greeting us upon the entering. My mom finds the nearest Ralphs employee and asks him where the zucchinis are. He tells us in the produce section and after about 5 minutes, we find the zucchinis. Inever forgot to spell zucchini after that.
Those damn Indian kids even made me look bad. We must stop them!
