Posted August 6th, 2013 by

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

It seems to me that the majority of people around me are not happy with their lives. Every day there is someone on my facebook time line that complain or leave some emo ass status about how their life sucks because they are pulling long hours at work, traffic, their computer crashed, their recent break up with their significant others, etc.

Let’s start off by saying it is virtually impossible to be happy all the time.  The reason for this is due to the greediness of humans. A lot of people live life with a life checklist. I want to make a lot of money. I want a significant other that is super attractive, smart, kind, caring, and loves me unconditionally. I wanna live in a big house with 2 sexy ass cars parked in the garage. There are a plenty of other shit that you probably have on your shitty “Happy Checklist”.  Let’s say you mark off everything on your checklist, you most likely wont be happy. Why? Because you always want more.

Looking for happiness in that way is like looking for pussy in Turkish bathhouse.

I used to make decent money as a consultant back in the days. If I stayed, I would probably making a comfortable living right now. Yes having money will help out. Being poor fucking sucks. Worrying about bills and being on a budget always sucks. Buuuuuut. Having money doesn’t necessarily mean you are gonna be happy. Does a new expensive handbag really make you happy? Does having a hundred thousand dollar car really make you happy? Sure it’s cool. Drive around in a Ferrari and have every body looking at you and treating you proper at the valet.

Then a motherfucker with a nicer more expensive car will come through and now all them people that were giving you props will ogle at his car. So you are there with the second nicest car in the lot. And in all honesty, you don’t want to be second place. Now you aint as happy as you used to be, cuz you aint getting that attention.

It’s like girls with that continually are in pursuit of being the prettiest they can possibly be. Plastic surgery, the nicest clothes, the expensive brand handbags are all things these girls gravitate to in order to achieve beauty. I get it. I totally understand that you want every guy to wanna be with you and other chicks to be jealous of you. Trust me it’s the same shit as the car analogy above. Buuuut in all honesty there will always be someone hotter than you. And as you get older, your ranking in the pretty contest will continue to drop. That’s just life. Sure keep on getting your nails done and get skin care.  But don’t think that it’s the most important thing.

I’m not saying I’m some sort of hippie muthafucker either. Yea I too want material things. I want my future wife to be caring, sweet, pretty, etc.  Buuuut all that shit is relative. Sure I want to make a lot of money so I can live comfortably. Not just for me but also for my family and friends.

I am definitely not doing as well I used to financially. Im definitely in a different tax bracket. Sure I have friends that have great families of their own, drive nice cars, and make a decent comfortable living. And I won’t lie, there are many times when I do envy them. But I also know that they get their own set of problems that I probably wont ever know about til I have a family of my own.

So after what’s the point of all this? The point is that may be we are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. Everyone is different so I won’t give you a tutorial on how to attain it. Quite frankly, I am also seeking happiness. And my attempt at this is to completely disregard my checklist. I threw that shit in the trash bin and clicked on delete forever. Don’t get me wrong, I still have quite a few goals that I still wish to attain but I realized instead of just looking at these goals, maybe you should stop and “smell the roses” so to speak. You can trash me for using a shitty cliché. But I honestly believe it.

I wanna wish retroactive abortions on those people that say shit like life isn’t fair. Life is the fairest things possible because YOU don’t deserve a damn thing. I will type it again. YOU DON’T DESERVE A MUTHAFUCKIN THING! People tend to over value themselves and hence they believe they deserve all these great things but be honest with yourself.

I was writing at a café when I overheard some chick tell her friend that she deserves better than then her current boyfriend. And I am going to start off by saying, I don’t know what their relationship is like but the her complaints about her boyfriend seemed to be the typical, he isn’t making that much money, he aint as good looking, I don’t find him attractive garbage. Again I closed my eyes and pleaded for a retroactive abortion on these chicks.

Why does she deserve better? Is she the smartest, prettiest, nicest, sweetest, richest chick? I highly doubt it. Instead of being thankful that some dude is with her and dealing with all her shitty baggage and expectations, she complains and wishes for something better. She’s like a C student wondering why she didn’t get into Harvard. It’s because you don’t deserve shit you dumb cuntasaurus.

As Einstein said, its insane to do the same shit over and over again expecting different results. And quite frankly for the majority of my life, I was one insane dumbass. So it’s time for some changes. Not just in what I do but how I think. Maybe some of you should make some changes too because quite frankly, its fucking annoying to hear about how shitty your life is. I don’t really feel bad that things aren’t going your way. I feel bad at how much of a monumental idiot you are. And here is one more thing. Most people around you feel the exact same way I do when you vent on facebook about your shitty day.  And all those pity responses and likes you are getting really don’t mean shit in the long run.

Posted May 26th, 2013 by

All my life, I have had to deal with Golddiggin Whores (GDW). The first girl I ever had sex with slept with me so I can give her free shit from my parents store. This GDW gave up her vagina for flaming hot cheetoes and lucas candy. I didn’t think much of it because I was young and hell I was getting vagina for virtually free. Well if you factor in the cost of the chips and candy it probably came out to 20 cents. Not bad right? Anyways, as I got older, the levels and in which these GDW have evolved to make me wanna punch these bitches in the throat.  On my recent trip to Korea, I saw it so blatantly I had to take a step away from the crowd because I was about to snap.

My friend and I were walking down a pretty popular street in Seoul. Garosugil if you are curious. This area is kinda like The Grove and Larchmont rolled into one. The main street is lined with clothing stores, coffee shops, and restaurants. Most of the people walking through that day were a bunch of plastic faced monsters. The weather was pretty nice when I got out there, so these chicks were very dolled up and as a horny man, it was very pleasing to look at. A bunch of head turners. Out of all this chicks though, 2 caught my eye. They were walking toward my friend and I. Just as this was happening, a Porsche 911 zooms past us and one of those girls said, “ughh that like soooo the older model”. Her friend shook her head like “I know right? How tacky.” I almost jumped infront of these no good GDWs and yell “ Yo! You bitches are walking!” But given that I have been trying to be a nicer positive person, I held it in. Barely.

And every girl I met out there, just yapped about money. I wanna buy this, I wanna wear that. I was like yo, what the fuck are wrong with these bitches. Why are they so obsessed with material things. So I really tried to figure out the psyche of these GDW.

Right off the bat, I just want to say, that, Yes, I am willing to give everything I have and own to a woman that deserves it. The problem is these GDW are trying to sell something that aint all that great. So let’s say I give one of you GDW everything I have. What do I get in return? If the answer is your looks and your vagina, you are out your Goddamn mind. What you goofy bitches don’t understand is that your looks and vagina are a depreciating asset. So in order for you to be an appreciating asset, you gotta do shit that makes us appreciate you. Most importantly, you gotta appreciate that for a guy to try to be a nice guy, they gotta constantly gotta do shit that goes against their biological make up.

Now the line that most these GDW’s will say is that they have more to offer than just their looks. Ok then, tell me what it is. I can wait all day. Do you think its your dazzling personality? Do you think its your smarts? Do you think is your impeccable diligence in making sure the house is sparkling clean? Nope… With a GDW’s mentality, I am willing to bet good money, you aint any of those things mentioned above. The reason you bitches still have hope is because rich goofy muthafuckas are still falling for it.  If you really think about it, there isn’t much of a difference between a GDW and a hooker.

Some may even argue that our money represents the ability to provide stability for the family there are gonna build with them. Yes, it’s a good selection process. It really does make sense, buuuuuuuut again what chick you know with a GDW’s mentality would be able to raise a family properly.  You see when you have symptoms of GDW you are incapable of being selfless. And thats the most important thing about raising a family. So what is it that you have to offer in return?

Lets play this game. Say some dude, falls head over heels for a GDW. He is willing to give the bitch all he has. He works his ass off to make that chick happy. Buying her shit, spoiling her, and treating this entitled cunt like a princess. But sooner or later, the dude will realize that the lust/passion he has for his woman is no longer there. Then, what… He is gonna try to find back that lust and passion but with some other chick. And once the girl finds out. Bam! Divorce! And that GDW is gonna play like a victim and take half the dudes shit.

Sure the dude is at fault to for going all in on some dumb shit. But the root of the whole problem are these GDWs.

Let me give you an analogy to explain this situation. When I was 16, I saved money to buy my first car. Like most kids, we wanted our first car to be cool. It better look cool. So, I went ahead and bought a Mitsubishi Eclipse Turbo. Don’t judge me, back that rice rockets were hot. Anyways, the first day I got it, I was driving in my neighborhood, when this cholo pulled up next to me in a shitty 1988 Oldsmobile. That shit was beat the fuck up. Doors were different colors. Primer on the hood. The cholo goes, “Ey Chino, You wanna race?” I looked at the cholo like he was fucking nuts. Is this guy kidding me? I’d destroy him. with my aerodynamic/ sexy ass car. So we start to race and I tried to gun it but next thing I know, I see the cholo a good half a block ahead of me. When we got the the next stop light, the cholo waited for me and was like “Ey foo, your car is a piece of shit holmes.” He then drove away. I hated my car after that but it was a lesson learned.

You see kids, a GDW is like my Eclipse. It may look nice but the engine, the transmission, pretty much engineering of the car was a piece of shit. You can put a spoiler on that shit, you can get a nicer body kit, lower that shit but ultimately it’s a piece of shit right out the factory. And just like a car, every day goes by, that car is worth less and less. Yes certain cars go from old cars to classics, but lets be honest, how many eclipses will be revered like a Shelby mustang? Just cuz I can see into the future, Imma tell you the answer is zero.

So my message is pretty simple…

To the guys… Yo, don’t empower these GDWs. I know its hard. These girls keep getting cuter and hotter.  But you muthafuckas need to stay strong and just fuck these bitches and move on. Let em get to an age when they realize their vaginas are expired. Then let em figure out the lesson the hard way.

To the GDWs… Look, I understand your hustle. At the end of the day, you are banking on the fact that you making/stealing/getting money and material will be justified because you are pretty and deserve it. Furthermore, You will believe that this is to protect your future. But in all honesty, take a step back and realize that you are nothing more than a patient hooker if you don’t work on other skills and personality traits. And I mean really self assess and improve on skills that last a lifetime.

Because at the end of the day, I wanna be able to hate people less. Thanks!

Posted March 22nd, 2013 by

I was thinking about marriage recently, like a real fair assessment of my current readiness etc.

And I realized when a guy says he aint ready for a relationship, he is afraid of losing his freedom. Not really the freedom to fuck other chicks and party with his friends and all that other stereotypical shit.

I am fine with fucking the same girl for the rest of my life but, what I am afraid to lose is the ability to not give a fuck. Because for a dude, if he is in a relationship, he has to ALWAYS give a fuck.

When she is next to him he has to always worry if she comfortable, is she hungry. Even when she aint physically around, we have to give a fuck. When should I call or text.

The only break we get from giving a fuck is when we are sleep.

It’s like chicks and their period. Right before and during the monthly cleansing of evil, they constantly have to give a fuck. You chicks think:

Am I gonna leak?

Oh shit I cant wear white.

Do i have a tampon in my bag just in case?

Do i wear Regular today or should I switch to Lites?

I’m horny but will he get grossed out?

So my point is women deal with it 1-2 weeks a month. While we deal with our giving a fuck every single day that we are together.

So help us with this by sometimes just sitting down and shutting the fuck up from time to time. Just like sometimes you don’t want to deal with us when you are on your period. Just leave us alone from time to time. Because I’m trying to work and be me so that I can eventually take care of us. But us constantly giving a fuck about you is actually stopping me from really providing for you.

Its like we are Superman. Every day he has to worry about meteors and whack shit that is gonna fuck up the earth. AND while we are out there dealing with this problem, dumb ass Lois Lane gotta get caught up on some bullshit and she is dropped from the Empire State Building. Now Superman gotta stop what he is doing to catch your ass and gently put you on the floor. Then he has to go back to dealing with punching a fucking meteor in half.

All Lois Lane had to do was sit the fuck down to make it easier for all of us. Instead, its always “why do you gotta always save the world and shit. When you gonna make time for me?”  Bitch! I’m helping YOU out by doing what I do. Don’t you understand that?

Now women will argue that they too give a fuck about us all the time. But it’s a different giving a fuck. It comes from a far different place. A girl giving a fuck actually comes from a selfish place.

for example:

When a chick wears something kinda whack, most guys wont say shit.  What the guy has to worry about is shielding her from his shitty friends that might say something fucked up. Obviously the chick thought it was cute enough to wear, so I aint about to shit on her “fashion sense” and ruin her mood.

If a dude wore something whack, his girl will tell him its whack. But that’s because she dont wanna look bad in front of her shitty friends. That’s fucking selfish!

What WE do is way selfless!

So again if women wanted to make it a lil easier for everyone just shit down and shut the fuck up from time to time. Understand that we are doing this for you so appreciate it!

Posted January 8th, 2013 by

Guys, don’t fall in love with pussy. I mean all guys love pussy but don’t fall in love with it. There is a difference. Don’t put that shit on a pedestal because its not as magical as you think it is. I know chicks think their pussy is great but it aint. I’ll tell you why. I’ve had great sex and I’ve had bad sex buuuuuut… I’ve nutted every single time. So that means, pussy aint the x factor. The only thing about pussy is that its always better than jerking off. If its terrible sex, I’m just thinking of your vagina as just an awesome giant female hand.

I know this sounds awful and im sure you chicks think I’m an asshole. But hear me out… First of all, I ain’t saying that you should just give up your vagina easily. Don’t be a whore about it. However, we know that unless you a dirty bitch, you are gonna make us work for it so you can see the true intent of the guy. You want your man to be real. You complain that when we do fuck then we change. What you don’t seem to understand is that until we get that pussy we ain’t being real. We are just trying to crack that safe, aka your vagina. It’s like that movie entrapment where Catherine zeta jones is dodging lasers to steal something. Us saying, oh you look beautiful in that dress, is us just dodging one laser. Opening that car door for you and pulling out the chair for you during dinner is us dodging some more fucking lasers. Once we get it, we figure we don’t need to re dodge the lasers. Fuck that.

And to add to that its not like you chicks are on hundred percent real with us either. Why is it that when we are just seeing each other, you are always dolled up. You wear the sexy panties. You got the make up on. And then when we are a couple, you are like fuck the yoga pants. I’m wearing sweats and ugg boats without make up. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve dated that look like Jamie Chung or Lucy Liu in the beginning and once we are a steady couple they start looking like Jackie Chan. That’s just as fake as me lying about loving kids and puppies.

And while we are on the subject of pussy. There was this homeless chick that was giving blowjobs for chicken mcnuggets. Now I am sure you chicks are fucking judging this chick. But you chicks are doing the same thing. Us buying you dinner and drinks are just really expensive chicken mcnuggets. So you not as that much greater than this homeless chick.

So you want us to respect you. It’s really pretty simple. 1)Understand that we act and think differently to you and accept it. Don’t dismiss that we are retarded because we don’t think and act like you. 2)Confidence is great but be self aware. If you a big bitch then don’t mask it by saying that you are curvy. I used to be skinny but once my underwear elastic folded like a zigzag rolling papers, I was like yo I’m a fat fuck. I never described myself as chubby or fluffy.  3)Be good on your own. Sure we love to spend time with you if you are cool but even if we don’t hang out do your thing. Have a life outside of me. 4) Respect me as a man. Once you respect me as the king of the household, then you are fit to be the queen of it.

So what’s the end goal? Let’s say its for us to get married. Men and women. Well dear chicks, this is how you becoming marry-able to a guy. You gotta pass these tests and in this order. First you gotta pass the dick test. The dick test is to see if you are fuckable. And lets be honest, its not that hard to pass that test. As long as you aren’t unrapeable, you pass that test. Just don’t be embarrassing to take out in public and we are cool.

The next test is the heart test. I gotta love you and you gotta love me back. Buuuuut, the way we love you is different. Its not that horseshit you think love is. It aint the first person I wanna see when I wake up bullshit. You wanna know what love is. Love is when even if your man gotta a small thang, when you go down on him, you fake gag. Its you being selfless. It’s the same when you fake an orgasm. It’s just to trick us into thinking we are doing a good job. It’s just like when even though you look like a train wreck in a certain outfit, I’m gonna say you look pretty so your feelings don’t get hurt. Love is just the act of being selfless. It’s hard but if you really think about it, you can love anyone if you just try to. Yes I know its not romantic to you chicks but this is how I really see it.

The final test is the brain test. This is to see if it makes sense that I can live with this bitch for the rest of my life. Lots of people think that the heart and brain test are one in the same but it really isn’t. Cuz I can fuck and love a crackhead. I’ve seen lots of fly ass crackheads but lets be honest, there is no way in hell I’ll live with one. That’s just crazy.

And ladies need to understand that you holding your pussy hostage wont make us respect you. So when you pull that the if you love me you would do x,y, and z bullshit, we don’t do it cuz we love you. Look we love our moms more than any woman in the world. And we typically don’t listen to her. What makes you think you deserve our will more than our moms? The only difference is we don’t want to fuck our moms. We aint doing it cuz we love you. We are doing it cuz we want to fuck you.

Posted December 14th, 2012 by

In Korean culture, we have been taught to respect our elders. Hence, there are special protocols when dealing with someone older in Korean Culture. From the formal way of speaking, to pouring drinks with two hands, to calling older people hyung and noona or (oppa and unnie if you are a chick). Even if they are a year older.

Now in theory, this is good practice.  Ideally, the more years you have lived in life, you should be wiser than your younger counterparts. And I have met a few wise people in my life that have really helped me think clearly when I am dealing with some of my problems. Unfortunately, these wise people aren’t as abundant as you would expect. And it just made realize, maybe we are doing things wrong. As a people as a whole, we really aint shit.

When I read about the mass shootings in CT or the school stabbings in China, I can’t help but think, why should the younger generation respect the older generation. If the kids are supposed to learn from us, and this is how we repay them. This is what we teach them, then why the fuck should they treat us with respect.  It is our job to inspire younger generation. And I aint saying live like a saint or some impossible shit like that.

I’ve dealt with random murder and killings in my personal life. I wont get into all that here. But it brings me to a more fundamental point. Respect should be earned. Not just given because you meet some requirements. I aint giving you respect because you parents fucked earlier than mine. Personally, I respect people that I can learn from. Not just because of their accomplishments and success they garnered from their career, but more so because of their personality and character. Again, people that I consider my life mentors, aren’t saints by any means. But at least for me, I am able to learn from them. I am inspired by them. Those are the people I will call hyung and noona. And yes, I’d call a white dude hyung if he hits that’s those things I mentioned above.

Hell, I have met plenty of pastors and priests and other supposed holy men that are shady motherfuckers. So I aint just doling out my respect to these fools. At the end of the day, one of the key reasons I don’t like people is because many people I have met clearly expect things. Money, Success, Respect, Power, etc. But they haven’t really done shit to really get any of these things. If you think you are working hard, you probably aren’t. It’s really people over estimating themselves. There isn’t anything wrong for you to want these things but all that shit isn’t just given to you. So fucking work. Not just in your career but work as a person.

Granted, I aint really a model of morals either. But I don’t go around thinking I deserve anything. I deserve exactly what I have now. And if I really want to be respected then ill probably have to change me more.

So if you want to be respected, then look to yourself first before you start chastising.  Cuz currently, we are doing a shitty job being hyungs, noonas, oppas, and unnies.  By the way, if you want to be respected, then you probably don’t deserve it anyways.