Crazies on the Plane
POSTED BY

So on my way from Jersey back to LA, I had to stay in the AZ for a hot second because of a wonderful layover. God I love Airports. -.- Anyways, so on my flight from the AZ to LA, I was had the window seat because that way no one can wake me up to go pee, shit or fuck in the bathroom. So I sit in my seat and look at the other people finding their seats. Secretly, I am hoping a hot chick would sit next to me. Not that I would try to fuck em but at least I can attempt. Or I can just be creepy and secretly smell the bitches hair or something. I dunno…

Anyways, a hot bitch didnt sit next to me. It was this middle age women who looked like she was born and raised in a meth lab. Something was not right with her. She sits next to me and she smelled like Oscar Mayer and Mayo. Fucking gross. She digs into her crusty ass Jansport bag and pulls out a walkman! I haven’t seen one of those in ages.
walkman-tps-l2

Since I am more perceptive than those fuckers on CSI:NY, I thought that this lady might be mentally off. This put me in a quite a pickle since I wanted to sleep but I couldnt because there was fucking crazy lady sitting next to me. So as we started taking off, she looks at me and asks if I want to listen to her tape. How could I refuse? Once I put on the headphones, I knew this lady was a nutcase. She was listening to radio frequency. Like if you had a shitty old school radio with a knob and you are just turning it without really any intention of finding the proper signal. After a good 10 seconds of this I gave her back her headphones and with a smile I said “Good Stuff.” She replies, its my favorite and she resumes bobbing her head.

Now as soon as I was done with this shitty experience, I suddenly hear the girl behind me cursing up a storm. She specifically said,” Those fucking assholes at the airport took away my lube. How can they let a glass dildo through but not the lube? Idiots!”

lube

Now being a curious male, I had to turn around and look at this overt slut. She looked like the extra in a gothic porn orgy. Now you are wondering how I am so knowledgeable about gothic porn. I will just say that I have very lonely nights. So now I realize that I am stuck on this fucking plane with crazy old lady next to me, and behind me is an emotional gothic slut behind me.

crazyAlthough I am always down to meet crazies so that I can write and talk about them. I was really annoyed at my luck because I wanted to sleep. I couldnt because I was afraid that the crazy one would stab me with her dirty fingernails and the whore behind me with try to jam her glass dildo in me because of her anger toward the TSA. God I hate airports and planes!

(Shout outs to MS Paint for my awesome drawings.)

COMMENTS: