Korea is an interesting place. Being from LA I thought I knew enough about Koreans with my dealings with my parents, their friends, ktown, Korean shows, etc. But when I came here, it wasn’t anything I expected.
Plastic Surgery
Most importantly, I was surprised to see so many chicks with surgery done. I mean I aint against plastic surgery but it’s a little shocking when 1 out of 3 girls on the street have pronounced noses and double eyelids. I almost feel like its an insult to God. “Hey God, thanks for creating everything but I think you kinda fucked up my face so I am got this person’s nose, and that person’s eyes.” These mix and match face bitches are kinda bugging me out. But its ok, I’d still like to impregnate them. I can’t help it. I like women, plastic face or not.
Trannys
Staying in Itaewon, I see a lot of shit I haven’t seen back in the states. I saw countless Korean Trannys. Again I think this is another Fuck you to God. “Hey God, I like how you made me but about that penis thing, I’m gonna have to make some alterations.” They fucked up thing is that a lot of times Asians are a bit frail in frame so sometimes these he/shes look like legit chicks. I almost hit on one on the street. Then I saw the big toe and wow. That was a big ass muthafuckin big toe. Amateur Kenyan marathon runner feet (barefoot on gravel). That could have been an awkward night but thank goodness I did an entire body scan.
Drunkenness
I have seen my fair share of drunk people everywhere I go. But Koreans are the professionals. I have seen so many drunk old dudes just knocked the fuck out in the middle of the street. It’s amazing. At 1pm you will see a dude just knocked the fuck out on the street in a suit and tie. These fools aint homeless or anything, they are just too drunk to get their asses back home. I see dudes drunk as fuck just sit down on a sidewalk and take off their shoes and start picking their toes. No shame in their game but weird as hell to look at.
Men’s Fashion
The dude’s here wear capris and some of the tightest pants I have ever seen. Oh yea, half of them have fucking purses. They walk around walking like they just came out of “train” with a purse hanging off the bend of their elbow. It’s also fucking hot right now so you see a lot of dudes wear shorts BUT them shorts are way too short. You know your shorts are short when you sit down and you see a little bit of the boxers creep out the bottom. These John Stockton short’s wearing fools need to cut this shit out. I don’t want to accidentally see male inner thigh. In the states, you can tell who the fob is. Sometimes I point and laugh at their attire but this is the origin of them fobs and holy fuck I can’t point and laugh anymore. I just don’t get it. And trust me no matter how much I live here, I aint gonna walk around with a purse and capris.
Summer Weather
It’s hot as fuck right now in Korea. It’s like a summer in NYC cept I have heard more Korean in 5 days than I have in my entire life. Being a fat fuck, I sweat. I sweat a lot. I walk 2 blocks anywhere in the world and I will sweat. Hell if I was walking 2 blocks in Alaska in winter and I’ll still be sweating (happened 4 years ago). Anyways, I am walking up more hills and stairs during my stay here than I have done in the past 3 years. I guess it’s a good thing because I can burn off a bit of what I ate that day but damn man. I’ve been sweating like an whore at the free clinic. There hasn’t been a time here where I haven’t been sweat free for more than an hour.
Mexican Food
Being from LA but more specifically, East LA, I crave Mexican all the time. I just want a late night taco or burrito sometimes. Well being in Korea, I was excited to see a lot of Mexican restaurants. So thinking it couldn’t be thaaaaaaat bad, I ventured into one with my buddies. $16 for 2 tacos! Since I wanted some Mexican I went ahead and ordered it. What they served me was the worlds shittiest taco. The Jack in the Box tacos are better. I was so mad. Thankfully, my buddy Kenny, will be opening up his Mexican restaurant here real soon. Next time I am here, you best believe Imma head over there and grub on some al pastor. For real!
So far those are the things I have noticed in Korea. I will keep yall posted with more.
