I am currently sitting next to a female friend at this café. She’s a smart chick. She better be since she aint as young these young bitches at the clubs getting drunk off of shitty mixed drinks that taste fruity. Anyways, me and her always have debates about men and women. She, like a majority of chicks, have so many complaints about men so I figure I am as good as any to school her on the matter. Btw she doesn’t give me any insights to chicks because ultimately there isn’t anything to learn about them but I am digressing.
She asked me as bluntly, why are men so prideful. It’s because pride is one of the attributes that keep us men. In the movie Scarface, Al Pacino says all I have are my word and my balls. Here balls is the representation of his manhood which in many ways is his pride. Men in a public setting always feel the need to be seen as men.
That is why we don’t watch sad movies with our boys because as soon as one of the guys sheds a tear, he will be called a pussy. We try to diffuse the sad moment by blurting out how Rachel McAdams is super cute and you would let her take a dump on your chest for one night of fucking. Yes I was some how watching the Notebook and I was backed into a corner. I had the tears welled up and I needed to use a verbal smoke bomb. Shut up don’t judge me.
Aww kissing in the rain is some romantic. -.-
Anyways, the reason men are so prideful is because it is the last thing we have to indicate we are still men. Guys cant stand being called a pussy or bitch. That is why we want to have the bigger cock. That is why we tend to not back down from fights in public. We don’t always want to fight but we will get down for the sake of not looking like a pussy.
On a trip to NYC. My buddy KSW and I woke up from our hotel room around 2pm. We met up with friends the night before and drank like it came out of Jessica Alba’s vagina. Yes id drink almost anything that comes out of her vagina but that’s another blog post. Anyways, we woke up and decided to walk around and check out the city. As we exited the hotel, I realized right away, who the fuck am I kidding. I aint gonna be walking around in this city. I suggested that me and KSW should take the bus tour of Manhattan. Yes like a true dork, we paid the 30 bucks and got on the second floor of the bus. Anyone that takes a double decker bus tour and sits on the bottom floor is an ass clown.
So we are on the bus and we soon realize that this wasn’t a good idea. Heterosexual guys have this mechanism that alerts them when they are about to do something that is atypical of heterosexual man’s activities. For example, if you are watching a movie with your guy friends and the movie has a sad scene. As soon as your eyes start to well up with tears, a guys mind is wired so that it keeps telling you, don’t be a bitch. Don’t cry you pussy. Anyways, while we are on the bus and my mind kept telling me, this is not gonna lead to anything good. You guys look like bitches right now.
I tried ignore my body’s natural defense mechanisms. It’s just a lazy way to get to see the city I kept telling myself. Aint nothing wrong with this. Then we hit the final stop of the tour. The statue of liberty during sunset… -.- Me and KSW sat on a bench looking across the body of water to see the statue of liberty, while the sun was setting. My mind kept on telling me, I told you this was gonna lead to nothing good. KSW and I just looked at the statue of liberty while chain smoking. We totally avoided any sort of eye contact. We probably feared that if we did look into each other’s souls, This is the perfect time to make out. Im not saying that I ever had to urge to make out with my friend but given the circumstances (sunset, park bench, shitty ballad that was playing in my head) it would have been a perfect time to make out.
Yea this is what we saw. Great view but damn uncomfortable.
So after what seemed like an eternity, we got back to the bus and didn’t say a damn thing to each other. In my mind, I needed to do something manly to offset this pansy moment I had. I needed to reach man equilibrium again somehow. So I punched a chick in the face… The End.
