No Shiiiiiiiiit, Captain Obvious! Part II

So my previous entry was about random “no shit” events that I can recall. This one was my trip to the hospital. About a year ago, I went to the doctor just for a full body checkup. Being a fat ass, I realized there might be many problems with me.

So I get to the doctor’s office. I was pleasantly surprised that it was a lady doctor. This way I can look at her in the eyes when she gives me a prostate exam.



So this doctor asks me a bunch of health questions and had the nurse draw blood etc.  The doctor comes in after the blood test and tells me to drop my pants.  I was worried because I realized its impossible to get hard in a hospital. Sure you have seen pornos where the horny nurse gives the patient a blowjob but i was too preoccupied with thinking that I am going to have something seriously wrong with me to have Russell the Love Muscle working. 

So I dropped my pants and she goes for my ballsack. I would have say that this doctor was a pro. The reason for this is because I am sure she has seen a lot of cock and balls in her life and she was so professional. I think if i was an OBGYN and I saw vaj all day, Id giggle and be so damn childish about it. Good for her. So after we gave my ball bag a whirl, she tells me to sit. She tells me the results for my tests. It turns out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. She tells me that I am suprisingly in good health. So I am kinda shocked because I figured I would have diabetes or something. So I ask her “Is there anything wrong with me? Can you suggest something?” She tells me to lose weight. I was thinking I could have looked at a mirror and diagnosed myself. She went to school 10 more years than me and all can she tell me to do is lose weight?! I was so damn angry. I wasn’t relieved that I was healthy at all. I could have made on phone call to my mom and she could have told me the same thing Doctor No Shit just told me.