No Shiiiiiiiiit, Captain Obvious!

One thing that really bugs the hell out of me is when people give you that “no shit” moment. Here is an incident that really stands out:

In college, my then gf wanted to go to a fortune teller for fun. On a side note, going to a fortune teller is not fun. I had more fun at a funeral. Anways, so we are in westwood and see this fortune teller.


She is this fat gypsy looking woman. Lady smelled like sweat, beer, and deer antlers. Fucking weird smelling. So she asks for my hand and inspects it. She first says that i have an adnormally small hand. (FUCK YOU BITCH!) Then with her greasy hands and stares at my hand and looks into my eyes with her dead eyes.

She tells me that I will live a short life and that I will marry a woman with long dark hair. Gee thanks for the specifics bitch. I then looked at my gf and thought, how the hell is this fun.

So let me recap the situation:

Walk into a seedy ass room that is the size of closet. This girl that smelled like a viking touched my hand and bagged on my about my small hands. Then she said tells me imma die early and marry an asian girl. The cost of this wonderful experience was 30 bucks. It was the first time I wanted to hit a woman. I paid the money and went outside because if I stayed any longer, id have said something crazy and then that would probably lead to the gf saying i am always embarrassing her in public and good ole gypsy bitch would probably cast some weird spell on me.

I’ve read books and seen movies about the gypsies. They are a crazy bunch of folks.