UCLA Dorm Years Part I
Well senior year of high school was pretty uneventful. I was Senior Class Treasurer. Yes Asian dude in charge of the money. (Insert Joke). I did ok in school. I did my fair share of cheating to get decent enough grades. I got into a decent amount of schools but I decided on UCLA. I don’t regret it one bit. I figure I could have gone to any other school but here is why UCLA was pretty awesome. For a pretty decent school, there were a lot of cute girls. I am a firm believer that God is fair. If you are an unusually smart chick then your looks have to be inversely proportional. For the kids that don’t know what that means let me explain. If you are damn smart then chances are you are damn ugly. Sure there are exceptions but if you don’t believe me then check out the MIT campus. Sorry MIT for blowing up your spot but that place had some of the ugliest females I have ever seen. They were really nice though. UCLA seemed to have decently smart girls that also looked decent as well. Sure there were trolls at UCLA too but there were lookers as well.
On top of the decent looking chicks, the dorm food was pretty stellar. According to surveys, UCLA was in the top 5 of best dorm foods across America. These surveys might be off because I was the one conducting them. Anyways, the food was awesome. Only Cornell had better food but the school was damn depressing.
And its West LA. The weather was always good here. Fuck all that snow and rain shit that other cities go through. You can argue that I should have gone to a San Diego school but let’s get serious now, I wanted to go a decent and reputable school.
So the first couple years were spent me gaining massive amounts of weight because of that damn good dorm food. Ughh! I gained a good 60 lbs in college. So the first year, I was paired up to live with an asian kid named Daniel. I guess the people thought it would be funny to pair two asian dudes named Daniel together. Harhar…. My roommate Daniel was very conservative. He would always stay in his room and do whatever it is he did on the computer. He was not too talkative and not that helpful but he didn’t really step on my toes much so that was cool.
The one time I wanted to hit him was I had a girl over and we were watching a movie. Now if I was him, I would have left the room to let the roommate do whatever he needed to do. I thought that was guy code but obviously this guy didn’t get the handout. So the movie we were watching was RoadTrip. And when the titty scene was on the screen, good ole Daniel sees the plethora of tits and yells out “Oh my word!” He then proceeds to look away and I guess he was kinda uncomfortable about the site of areolas. I dunno if he was gay or not but I don’t think a female walked into our room that was his guest.
Being that good ole Daniel was a bit of a square, I usually hung out at my suitemates’ room. Those guys were cool. Brad and Samer were always chill. Brad was an Indian dude that would on a drop of a dime hit that hacky Indian accent. Even though they were part of this Christian fellowship group, they always were able to handle my crassness. We also had some epic video game battles. Samer was a cool dude. I know he would be a lil miffed if I said this but I doubt he will ever read this so fuck it. We all shared a bathroom and every time I walk in the bathroom, I see baby powder in the floor. One day I was so curious that I walked into Samer and Brad’s room and asked if anyone is shooting free throws in the bathroom. (Basketball reference) Samer fessed up and said that he was powdering his sack to keep em from getting all sweaty and sticky. Good to know Samer. Hahah.
The extra plus about UCLA was that my best friend Terry was also a student there. We decided that it would not be good to live with each other because we might get on each other’s nerves. Terry lived at Sproul hall in a triple. That meant there were 3 people living in a small ass dorm room. Terry’s roommates were pretty damn cool. One of them Chris was a very interesting dude. He would cut people’s hair in the communal bathroom. I remember the first time he cut my hair. I took off my shirt and he was laughing at the amount of chest hair I had. I guess he didn’t believe that an Asian dude could have chest hair like I do.
The funniest story involving Chris makes me laugh to this day. So one day, Terry’s female friend Jackie came to visit him. I knew Jackie as well because she lived in my dorm complex. Anyways, Jackie is in Terry and Chris’s room and I notice that she had an unusual amount of arm hair. When I pointed it out, Chris offered to shave it off for her and proceeds to pull out his hair clippers. She says, “I dare you…” To which Chris shrugs and then shaves off a patch of hair. She looks at that bald patch looks up and starts bawling. She runs out crying to which Chris looks at me and says, “Dude, she dared me.” Damn I love that guy.
