Tales of a Scumbag #18

Drinking is Bad for Your Image

During my Senior Year of college, I was president of the Korean-American Students Association (KSA). The group was pretty notorious for all the drinking and smoking. We were always called the Korean Smokers and Alcoholics Association. Anyways, when I became president, I genuinely wanted to change the image of the club. Sure we would have parties and get wild but I made it a point to do community service events as well.

One of the bigger events for KSA every year is the ski trip. This particular year we had a bunch of other schools with us. UC Riverside, UC Irvine, and UC Santa Barbara all came with us. We pretty much owned Mammoth mountain that week. Anyways, every year we have a lot of Freshmen kid getting one of their first cracks at alcohol. One of my freshmen, got really trashed. Then he had the audacity call the upper classmen out. He said he could out drink all of us.

Before I get into the rest of the story, I wanted inform you readers about Koreans and their rules about respect. A younger person should never disrespect an elder. Sure it sucks to show respect to someone just because they are older but that is how it is in Korean culture.

So back to the story… We were pretty shocked by this kid calling us out. So we sat him down and went shot for shot with the kid. Tequila, Vodka, Jack Daniels were all shot. Eventually the kid was in no condition to be functional so we sent him upstairs to go to sleep.

The rest of the group just decided to resume partying. Well, after an hour or so, I started being a little concerned with the kid. A staff member (Erick) and I decide to go check on him. When we got to the room, we were hit with the stench of shit. We checked the bathroom to see if someone just left a present and didn’t flush. Nope, the bowl was clean.

After a few seconds to think, I realized that the kid shat in his pants. But just to make sure, I made Erick do a sniff test. His findings proved my theory to be true. We woke the kid up and sent him to the bathroom to wash up. But every step he took, a little piece of shit fell out of his pant leg. He left a shit trail to the bathroom.

Of course, I had Erick clean up the mess. He told me the quickest way to sober up is to clean someone else’s shit. I never tried it but I am sure he is right. Anyways, the kid’s name is a blur to me but I remember the nickname we gave him. Choco Panties. I kind of feel bad for Choco because he rarely came out to other events after that. The lesson of the day is, don’t drink too much because well shit happens.