Tales of a Scumbag #29

For all those guys that think all vaginas are magical I got news for y’all. Some of them are awful. When I was young I thought all Asian girls took care of themselves down there. Then my world came crashing down. I met this girl at a club. She was drunk and I figure drunk chicks make mistakes and well lets be honest, I’m a big fucking mistake.

Anyways, i take this drunk mess to my place. Its getting totally hot but as clothes started coming off, it started to smell more. Once she was fully naked i realized where the smell was coming from.

I don’t mind hair on a vagina but when it looks like a brillo pad, I’m not gonna be turned on. To add to that it smelled like this girl jogged a marathon inside this club. When it comes to sex, I’m the type to make sure the girl is having a good time. Usually that means going down on the broad but this one I was not gonna just go head first into her trash dumpster smelling cunt.

So she is going down on me I’m trying to figure out how imma go down on her without throwing up. She tells me she likes to have the lights on because she is a visual person. Well there goes the holding your nose technique I thought.

I could have been an asshole and be like do u douche with toilet water? But I thought against it because That would have shut down the cock train. Destination, stank cooch.

So I suggested we do the good ole 69 position. She sucked dick like she was running out of air and my balls are the only source of oxygen. She even made gagging noises. How sweet of her. While this was going on, I was on the other end just reluctant. I held my breathe and went to her downtown la skid row district. She seemed to like it a lot but being that I smoke cigs it was a bit tough for me. Can’t hold my breathe for that long.

After about 10 minutes of this, we went into fucking. All I can smell was her awful baby maker. She came up to kiss me and then told me my breathe stank.
She stopped what she was doing. She is trying to flip this shit on me. I wasn’t having any of it.  I was like um you made me lick your national geographic vagina and now you this its my bad hygiene? She got off of me and started getting dressed. She was cussing me out. Me being captain mature called her dumpster pussy. She got mad and stormed out.

If you are reading this miss stankonia I apologize. I hope u get that horrible odor problem fixed.