Alcohol Poisoning
I learned a lot at my job at KPMG and I generally liked the people I worked with and for. However, being fake and kissing ass took a crazy toll on my soul. I would constantly get off of work and get in a quick 30 minute drinking session. And I would drink hard. One day, my buddy Walter calls me and says he is at a bar in Ktown. I head over and start drinking. Being that it was a week day I decided I should take it slow. Walter, a comedian, asked me why I am drinking like a pussy. I told him I had a early day the next day so I should take it slow. He asks, “Are you saving lives tomorrow?” I figured he had a point and started drinking.
He orders a bottle of tequila AKA devil’s juice. I hate tequila with the passion. I hate it because unless it’s the high end shit, you are gonna have one hell of a headache and hangover the next morning. Anyways, being that I hate my body and its capabilities, I am throwing back tequila like its water. I don’t remember the rest of the night.
I wake up a few hours later in a hospital bed. I ask the nurse what the hell happened. She said that I had alcohol poisoning. I look at the time and I had about 1 hour to get to work. Meaning there was no way I was gonna go home and shower. I got up, pulled the banana bag out of my arm. The nurse was like where are you going. I told her that I had to get to work.
I was half expecting cops to be outside my door because I thought I got booked for a DUI. I was kinda excited at the thought because this would mean I would have to miss a day of work. I asked the nurse, how I got here. She said a friend brought me in. FUCK! There goes my day off of work. I take a cab to the bar from the night before and indeed my car was there. I had a splitting headache. And since my head is the size of a pumpkin, a headache for me is a migraine to the normal person.
I get in the car and go straight to work. When I walk in, my boss takes one look at me and asks what the hell happen. I tell him that I drank like my life depended on it and I woke up in the hospital. Being the “nice and considerate” boss that he is, he tells me I should go home and take the day off. I tell him that I am fine and will work. If it gets unbearable, I will go home. He looks at me like I am crazy and he is right I am fucking crazy.
The whole day I am throwing up everything I ate in the last month. I would have made a bulimic blush. Pussies! Anyways, I lasted the whole day. From that day on, I swore that I would never drink tequila. That oath lasted 2 days. I think I might have a problem.
My spring tour started March 27th. First stop was SUNY Geneseo. Its about 3-4 hours away for NYC. Anyways, I took a red eye flight on the 26th from LAX to Dulles (Washington DC) then from Dulles to Rochester (NY). As soon as I got on the first plane, I spotted a few infants near where I was sitting. I was hoping that the parents put some Nyquil in their baby formula so that they would go to sleep but things never go as I hope. As soon as the cabin door was shut, the baby closest to me started crying. The lil fucker did not stop. For 6 hrs, this lil vessel of feces started crying. I was not happy because I planned on sleeping on the plane. This did not happen and the on board movie sucked ass too. Ughh.
Anyways, I land in Washington DC at 6AM and I had to wait a few hours to get on my plane to Rochester. The good thing about Dulles is the smoking lounges. Being completely and utterly addicted to cigarettes, I find this to be a nice touch. I chain smoke for about 30 minutes because I wanted to punch the infant for ruining my flight experience.
I head toward my gate to Rochester. It was going to be a 1 hour flight and I desperately needed to sleep. When I got on this little regional plane, I was pissed to find out that the same demon seed that was on my previous flight was on my plane to Rochester. I was thinking if this little fucker even makes a sound imma put him in my carry-on bag. The little fucker did not miss a beat and started to cry. I gave the mom the dirtiest look possible. My plans of getting an hour nap was thoroughly fucked. Ughh.
Anyways, I land at Rochester NY and 2 people from SUNY Geneseo are there to greet me and take me to my hotel. Vanessa and Minji I believe their names were. They were very nice and sweet. I had lunch with the Korean Student Association board members. They were very cool and chill. Shout outs to Grass, Danny, David, Christine, Minji, and the rest of SUNY Geneseo family that showed me much love!
The show was pretty cool. It wasn’t an all asian crowd. Actually there were probably more white folks in the audience. It was good shit.
After the show, the kids took me to the only restaurant open at 10pm. Denny’s! I wanted to pass out because I didn’t sleep at all. I figure pick something heavy. Naturally I picked country fried steak and a side of sausage links. But the staff wanted to go drink and party. I decided sure, why the fuck not.
They took me to this house with a bunch of Korean Kids. I guess the definition of partying in the East Coast Colleges is Beer pong because I played more beer pong this past week then I did in my entire life. After a few shots and drinks I got back to my hotel and knocked the fuck out…
Wassup Everyone,
I am off on a pretty busy trip. But if you guys are in the area, Holler!
March 27th- SUNY Geneseo (NY)
March 28th- Cafe Noir (Annandale, VA)- TICKET INFO
April 1st- Old Dominion (Norfolk, VA)
April 2nd- Penn State (PA)
April 3rd- Seoulful Concert- MC Mong/ Leesang/ Jay Sean (Shrine Auditorium) TICKET INFO
April 11th- Boston University
April 12th- Boston College
April 15th- Stonybrook University (NY)
April 23rd- Northwestern University (Evanston, IL)
April 24th- Kollaboration Chicago- TICKET INFO
Now Here are some videos I would like yall to watch!
Seoulful Concert Promo
Ktown Cowboys Trailer and Promo Video:
Please subscribe to the DPDCtv channel for more updates on Ktown Cowboys. First episode launches on April 6th!
Wassup Yall,
For all you guys in the DC, Maryland, and Virginia area, I got a show soon! Try to come through and get your tickets fast. I was told it will sell out fairly quickly! Holler!
Click Here For Tickets!
I am headlining at the Slanted Show at the Brea Improv. It is the same day as Kollaboration BUT the show starts at 11PM! Plenty of time to go to both shows if you wanted to. On top of that, if you get on the guestlist the cover charge is waived. For you FOBS, that means you dont have to pay at the door. Amazing. Last month I was at the show, and the show was packed. So its gonna be a rocking show for sure.
To get on the guestlist email me at dannychocomedy@gmail.com. Do it by Saturday 3pm. Sseng u.
