During my short lifetime, I have had the privilege to meet a myriad of people. Lots of them were great and some should just have been a blowjob. They should have died in their respective mothers’ mouths. Yes, this may sound a tad bit harsh but fuck them. If you haven’t noticed yet, I tend to digress a lot.
Anyways, out of these countless amount of people, one stands out the most and I can truly call him my best friend. Terry pretty much grew up in South Pasadena. He hung out with pretty much the white crowd. Sure there were some Mexicans in the mix but they were pretty white washed too. I met Terry during sophomore year. We were in quite a few classes that year. I would end up on campus earlier than most because I wanted to fight the horrendous traffic from East LA to Pasadena. Terry, even though he lived 5 minutes away from school, came early too. We had Spanish class for first period. I would spend most of the morning trying to memorize for a vocab quiz that I inevitably had. I really never studied that much during school. Terry would always have an apple fritter in the morning with coffee. I remember we started talking about the Spanish vocab quiz that we had to take and he offered a bit of his apple fritter. If you don’t know by now, I love food. I couldn’t turn it down. Our friendship started with a breakfast pastry.
Only a G can wear a suit at the beach!
Throughout the rest of high school, we ended taking a ton of classes together. In the beginning of this friendship, we tended to talk about what every hormonal teens talk about. It was always about chicks or stressing about a final. But these topics changed. I remember one time we were infront of my house talking about religion for hours on end. I can’t quite remember the stance we took but I do remember thinking I have never talked to another human being about religion for that long. Sure it is social suicide to talk about ones religious beliefs but we had a honest and civil conversation. From that day on, I knew this dude was special.
I can write a book alone on all the events we have shared but I shall spare you guys the details for now. Instead, I will write how much of a down homeboy he is. Terry possesses many of the qualities that I lack. Call me arrogant but it is rare for me to think someone is better than me. But the friends that I have are all better than people.
Lots of people especially in high school, tried to follow the crowd. If they didn’t they were usually ostracized and eventually those fuckers are the ones that shoot up the schools. Terry, however, tended to march to a beat of his own drum. He played a ton of sports, he was on the yearbook committee, he is even an eagle scout. Oh I forgot to mention he was Vice President of the Swing Dancing Club. Which is kinda awesome! On top of that, he did pretty well in school. Sure lots of overachieving asian kids did all of these activities. The difference is, he did this not for the resume. He didn’t join all those sports teams because it looked good for college. He didn’t do well in school because it was going to get him into a good university. He did it because he enjoyed it. Even with all the extracurricular activities, Terry always had fun. His drive to do what he wants has led him to pursue a career in medicine. He is gonna be a doctor soon! Again not because he wants to make his parents proud or because of the money. He always wanted to be one since as far I could remember. I am always inspired when I talk to him.
I have always been grateful to have a dope friend like Terry. I think an event that solidifies how great he is to me would be during my recent dvd taping this past July. He was in Arizona on a rotation for medical school. He called me the morning of my dvd taping, telling me that he wishes he could be at my show. He wished me luck and I knew I was gonna rock that shit after that talk. So I go do my hour show and after I bid the crowd farewell, guess who I see coming down to greet me. Terry drove all the way from Arizona just to see my show. It was one of the few times in my life where I almost cried in public. I didn’t cry because I am a man but I almost lost my shit when I saw him.
At times, I feel like shit because I can’t be there for him as often as he has been there for me. He has saved my ass many times. He is one of the only friends I have that truly understands what makes me tick. It also helps that he and I have every similar weird humor. If you can quote from Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Best of the Best, or Rocky 1 through 4 you are pretty bad ass. I will not say that these movies are the best movies of all time but if you are a man you need to know these movies.
What is the point of this chapter you ask. Basically, my friend is better than yours. That is all.
So my good friend, ERIC (LazySwayze) had a little interview with me that turned out to be a beast of an interview. ERIC is a solid dude. Tremendous writer, decent shit-talker, but most importantly, just a down homeboy. Hit up his blog at www.lazyswayze.com.
If you are wondering why this guy is awesome, I will give you a small taste. This dude actually waxed off his chest hair on a whim. Well he was drunk too but that is besides the point. Swayze for president!
Oh and if you want to read the interview here are the links. (He cut it into to parts because too much of a good thing is bad for your health.)
So on my way from Jersey back to LA, I had to stay in the AZ for a hot second because of a wonderful layover. God I love Airports. -.- Anyways, so on my flight from the AZ to LA, I was had the window seat because that way no one can wake me up to go pee, shit or fuck in the bathroom. So I sit in my seat and look at the other people finding their seats. Secretly, I am hoping a hot chick would sit next to me. Not that I would try to fuck em but at least I can attempt. Or I can just be creepy and secretly smell the bitches hair or something. I dunno…
Anyways, a hot bitch didnt sit next to me. It was this middle age women who looked like she was born and raised in a meth lab. Something was not right with her. She sits next to me and she smelled like Oscar Mayer and Mayo. Fucking gross. She digs into her crusty ass Jansport bag and pulls out a walkman! I haven’t seen one of those in ages.
Since I am more perceptive than those fuckers on CSI:NY, I thought that this lady might be mentally off. This put me in a quite a pickle since I wanted to sleep but I couldnt because there was fucking crazy lady sitting next to me. So as we started taking off, she looks at me and asks if I want to listen to her tape. How could I refuse? Once I put on the headphones, I knew this lady was a nutcase. She was listening to radio frequency. Like if you had a shitty old school radio with a knob and you are just turning it without really any intention of finding the proper signal. After a good 10 seconds of this I gave her back her headphones and with a smile I said “Good Stuff.” She replies, its my favorite and she resumes bobbing her head.
Now as soon as I was done with this shitty experience, I suddenly hear the girl behind me cursing up a storm. She specifically said,” Those fucking assholes at the airport took away my lube. How can they let a glass dildo through but not the lube? Idiots!”
Now being a curious male, I had to turn around and look at this overt slut. She looked like the extra in a gothic porn orgy. Now you are wondering how I am so knowledgeable about gothic porn. I will just say that I have very lonely nights. So now I realize that I am stuck on this fucking plane with crazy old lady next to me, and behind me is an emotional gothic slut behind me.
Although I am always down to meet crazies so that I can write and talk about them. I was really annoyed at my luck because I wanted to sleep. I couldnt because I was afraid that the crazy one would stab me with her dirty fingernails and the whore behind me with try to jam her glass dildo in me because of her anger toward the TSA. God I hate airports and planes!
(Shout outs to MS Paint for my awesome drawings.)
This past weekend was pretty action packed. So here is a recap:
On Thursday, I had to wake up at 5am to go shoot a T-Mobile commercial. 5am! Ugh. I was dead tired but thankfully, the shoot location wasnt too far. Basically, this commercial is where me and 5 other guys are cocky basketball players, talking shit to Dwayne (Flash) Wade. No! D-wade was not at the shoot. I am sure by now you get the idea that these shit talkers have the basketball prowess of a special olympics participant. You are absolutely right. The put me in a headband, tight jersey, shorts, and calf-high socks to make me look ridiculous. Being the professional that I am, I took everything in stride. I was cocky as can be and boy did I talk some shit. I am never really excited to do commercials because it wont help me career in the sense that I will be famous for them. Instead, commercials are a way for me to stay above the poverty line for about 3-4 months. Yay for being able to eat! (more…)
I was at my friends house when my buddy Bobby Choy (AKA Big Phony) called me and told me that the Kim Jong Il E-Harmony video was the featured video. I thought he was shitting me but when I got to a computer I saw:
People started texting me and facebook messaging me. Thank you very much for the kind words. Shout outs to Arowana Films, Peachies, and DPD for the great filming and editing.
Dont worry guys, more Kim Jong Il videos are on the way.