Posted May 13th, 2009 by

This is just a rant about how sometimes you are not to fond of your friends significant others. My friends are awesome. Way better than yours. But at times, they are hitched to some duds. Now I am always trying to be a good friend and usually I am pleasant to these useless bag of bones. But the more and more I think about it, I feel like a complete enabler. I know it is not my place and if my friend’s don’t see how much of a dumb semen receptacle their GFs are then let em be. They will find out later.

Here are some things that I find that these girls have in common:

1) They think they are hot, when they are a 4.5 at best. I am all for confidence but I also hope that people are a bit plugged into reality. You ain’t remotely cute. Would I bang you? Yes because I would bang damn near anything. But then I would finish on your face because that is what we men do to women we dont respect. If you looked like Megan Fox, Heidi Klum, or any other woman that men generally dispose their pre babies on a piece of toilet paper, then yes you can act cute and hot. But if you look like the dusty asian girl that you find in a college library, then pack it in.
asianstudying

(Why?!)

2) They think the world revolves around them. This is a trait is not just consistent with just some of my friends’ GFs but it is something I see a lot.  In a relationship there sure will be sacrifices. Sometimes it a hobby/passion. Or sometimes its just drugs and hookers. Whatever the sacrifices are, it should be done by both parties. Sometimes I blame the pansy ass BFs that just dont have the nutsacks to tell their GFs that they are filthy and shitty creatures. Sure this sounds extreme but you know women arent all that clean. Soaking their blood stained panties in the sink. Sometimes not flushing a bloody tampon. Shedding so much hair you thought someone got scalped in the bathroom. UTIs.  Gross!!!! Anyways, its not like the chicks want to change at all. They just nit pick at the BFs about what they dont like about them. I dont like that you have facial hair. I dont like that you have a lot of pubes. I dont like that you smoke cigs, blah blah blah. And most guys for the sake of the relationship just changes. But if we told the chick the same things above, they will throw a hissy fit. I am not saying that all women are like this. Its just the certain retarded cunts that apparently gravitate toward some of my friends.  

There are many more things I hate about these chicks I have in mind but I shall stop this rant. I need a beer. I just want to leave with somethings that my dad has said. A man is not a man without his dreams and ambitions. Dont kill a mans dreams ladies. Trust me, I was in a situation like this and I fucking hated her for it. The second thing my dad said is dont ever change for someone, change because of someone. Ok so the translation might be off but basically he means that you change for someone because you yourself wants to. Not because someone wants you too. 

On a Side Note…

There are still tickets available to my show!

Click on the flyer to buy tickets! I am excited to bring you brand new jokes!

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Posted May 6th, 2009 by

This past Saturday, I did a set with Kevin Shea and a gaggle of other comedians at the M Bar. I get there a little early because I hate being late to things. I see Kevin and he is with Jim Jeffries. I am sure most of you dont know who he is, but this guy is a monster on stage. You can call his material a little dirty or crass but I think its magically. Yes, I said it. Jim is a comedian from Australia. 

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Posted May 1st, 2009 by

This past week, I had a pretty chill week. It started off with an interview with allkpop. So we meet up at Cafe Mak in Ktown. For those that do not know, its my office. I go there to write, blog, read, check out fobby korean girls. Anyways, so Eunice from allkpop and her cameraman meet me. We do the interview outside which was an interesting idea because the sun right on my face. I could smell bacon burning as I sat there. It was a cool interview tho. Props to Eunice for the interview.

allkpop

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Shout outs again to allkpop and eunice for the interview. 

 

Afterwards, I had 2 auditions. I am currently on avails for one of them so keep your fingers crossed. If I get it, I can eat for another month. Yay! If i dont get the part then oh well. Ramen it is. I might treat myself to some cheese on that ramen. Thats high roller status!

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Posted April 29th, 2009 by

So I left off with me sleeping at Royce and Richards place because South of Jersey was a dump! Sorry if you are from there but that place was just depressing. Anyways, so after we wake up and head for the Stanford Hotel. This place is a smack in the middle of KBLOCK in NYC. Thanks for the hook up Stanford Hotel! I like this place because it has a cafe right next to it and a 24 hours soup place on the other side. Perfect for hangovers. And at night there are old korean dudes in front of the hotel driving Lincoln Continentals wanting to take you to whorehouses around the city. Its definitely my kind of place.

So DPD and I check in and we call Kwon Sang Woo to tell him where we were. If you dont remember he was walking around Central Park while drunk and zero hours of sleep. Fucking weird I tell ya! Anyways, KSW gets to the hotel and just finds a bed and crashes. Dude can knock out anywhere. I have seen him sleep standing up. No joke! 

dpdandksw

(ME, DPD, Kwon Sang W00)

I had to wash up and get all of the previous nights bad taste out of my mouth. I was tired but dammit I was in NYC with a day to just chill. So I did! After a few hours we made our trek to Neo Sushi. Neo Sushi is run by my good buddies Jensen, Royce, and Richard. I swear its probably some of the best fish I have ever eaten. If you are ever in the NYC area, go to Neo and tell them you are my friend. They will treat you right. I promise!

neosushi

(Best Sushi in NYC for Sure! Neo Sushi!)

Everything is good there! And if you like Sake, they got a damn good selection. Trust me, I am an alcoholic. And for dessert, get the green tea tiramisu. Fucking delicious! 

So after eating a ton of food, we head out to meet my favorite cousin Esther. Yes for my other cousins that read this, I am sorry but Esther is my favorite. We head to this bar called Forbidden City. Its a pretty chill bar and I have been here many times. The folks are always pretty chill here. Good times! 

By the end of the night, I am pretty damn drunk. We head back to Ktown and shoot some pool. Eat some pizza and hotdogs. Pretty much we eat and drink like fatasses. And you guys should be proud of me. I didnt succumb to the Chicken Over Rice cart. I was tempted but I decided against it.

chicken-over-rice

(Damn I want this right  now!)

 It was a good day of Relaxation but we needed to get up fairly early because the next day, we had to get to Philly on the Bolt Bus. 

boltbusThis bus was actually pretty dope!

The Temple experience will be in the next post!

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Posted April 26th, 2009 by

So after the Stonybrook show on Wednesday, originally the gang and I were supposed to get to NYC to get on a bus to Philly. From there someone from Rowan University was going to pick us up. Yes it was a complicated way to get there but there was no other way to get to South Jersey via public transportation. 

So we get up and Dave and Hanbom agree to take us to the NYC bus stop. To our horror, there was major traffic and there was no way we were gonna make the bus in time. In the middle of traffic, Dave said that he would take us to New Jersey since he didnt have anything to do that day. What a nice guy! 

So we stop by good ole Flushing for some koreanized chinese food. Jja Jang Myun and Jjam Bbong was devoured. I was surprised because the food wasnt that bad. See, in my mind, New York has good food other than Mexican and Asian cuisine. But this place wasnt that bad!

So after the lunch we head on a 3 hour drive to the south of New Jersey. Dave Woo drove like a maniac and there were many times I thought we were gonna die. Dave said that he is an aggressive driver but this was a lil more than aggressive. So instead of getting worried that we were gonna get into a horric accident, I just went to sleep. 

We got to Jersey about 3 hours before the show so we headed to the hotel that we were gonna stay at. It was the most depressing town I have ever been in. THere were like 4 funeral homes around the area. I thought for sure that we were gonna get lynched somewhere. The roads werent even asphalt. It was more gravel roads. Great I thought. This is going to be fun. We check into the ridiculously dingy Howard Johnson. Parts of the hotel were still being built! It was a great look!

I get to the hotel and just chill before we get to the show. Once at the campus, I was hopeful because the campus of Rowan actually looked nice. When I got to the venue of the show, I was hit with a bad feeling. The majority of the audience was Chinese or Mongolian FOBS. I was wondering, how I am supposed to communicate with these people if they dont have a firm grasp of the english language. On top of that there were kids at the show. Great I thought!

So the show starts and I am dying on stage. The only people laughing are the handful of white and black audience members sitting in the perimeter. I turned off the idea that I was gonna do well on stage and just sucked it up. Took the silent stares in the chin. After the show, I told the guys that we need to head back to the hotel immediately. Dave and Hanbom are with us and they were seeing if they can pick up some chicks at the show and bring them back to the hotel however, there would was a definite language barrier. No chicks to pick up we head back to the ghetto Howard Johnson.

Dave and Hanbom were a lil disappointed and a lil uneasy about staying in South Jersey. It was depressing to be there. So we all decided we need to get back to NYC. So we checked out of the hotel and went straight to NYC. It was 2AM when we left Jersey. This proved to be a lil problematic because we werent supposed to get to NYC til the next day to check into our hotel there. 

But I called the always dependable Richard and he let us all crash at his place.  Shout outs to Richard and Royce. But before we got to their place we had to make a quick stop. You guessed it. Chicken over Rice! 53rd and 6th next to the Hilton. Damn I love that shit so much. So the day wasnt a complete bust. 

So we get to Royce and Richards place in Chinatown. Of course I got them some Chicken over Rice too. It was the least I could do. We put our bags down and start devouring the food. Afterwards, beer and Makers Mark was brought out. We drank til the sun came up. Then my boy Kwon Sang Woo decides he wants to walk around Central Park. He was clearly drunk. But we didnt stop him because you just cant stop the force of nature that is KSW.  He left and we all slept at 9am. 

Shout outs to Dave and Hanbom for driving us there. Shout outs to Royce and Richard for the hospitality. Shout outs to 53rd and 6th Halal Cart. Shout outs to Rowan University for letting me know that sometimes we are just gonna eat it on stage.

Sorry I have no picture for this show. Kinda didnt need any reminders about that night.

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