Posted April 16th, 2012 by

Signs that a guy aint feeling you

1)      He doesn’t ask about your friends or family.

The guy doesn’t necessarily have to care about your friends and family but a guy that is into you will ask to evaluate you more. If you are attractive enough, the guy needs to check under the hood so to speak. Trust me, a lot of times, guys cant stand their gf’s friends but they deal with em because its their gfs friends. If we are into the girl then we will ask about friends and family because we are looking for clues to see how much crazy this chick has in her.

2)      He leaves you cab money after sex.

I hope this one is obvious. If the dude is into you, he will let you sleep over so yall can cuddle or whatever else the chicks like to do post coitus. A dude that finds a way to kick you out as soon as yall got done fucking means you are to him just a hole that he shoots his load in.

3)      He tries to or has nutted on your face.

Guys don’t cum on things they care about. It really does not do anything physically for a dude to nut on a chicks face. It’s really forms of dominance and disrespect all rolled into one. If a dude has a condom on and he tries to nut on your face that really means he aint thinking of you as the potential mother of his children. Now if he is going bareback it still takes extra work to nut on the chicks face. But ladies DO NOT mistake friendly fire with him trying to give you a babyshower. If the dude pulls out too late and some of his man juice gets on you, you should be thankful that he didn’t give you a creampie.

4)      If he doesn’t give you the majority of his attention during dates.

It’s true guys will undress girls mentally even when they are with somebody. It aint cheating if its done in the mind. But if a dude aint making eye contact with you through the majority of the night, he aint digging you.  Ive heard women who are in denial saying that the dude is just shy. Trust me ladies, if a dude digs a girl, he wouldn’t have a problem looking at YOUR FACE. Not your tits or ass.

5)      All your hangout session occur after 2am.

Unless the dude has a crazy work schedule if the dude hollers at you only after last call. That means he has one thing in mind. He will deal with your stories of your coworkers for about 30 minutes or so but at that point the muthafucka only wants to bang you. Trust me, I’ve called quite a few girls at 2am just to get uhhhh get my dick warm… Point is, he just wants to bang you and not deal with the other responsibilities of being a relationship with you. Like talking and caring and a handful of other shit.

Posted April 16th, 2012 by

For many years now I noticed a trend in media that depict a guy in a relationship as a fucking idiot. And the chick is so smart. I don’t know when this type of bullshit became accepted. For many years, I have heard women talk shit about how guys are so dumb but when I hear the reasoning for such conclusions, I start getting angry at the generalizations and a lack of understanding. Calling people dumb is too dismissive.  So I decided to help you girls understand guys. I don’t claim to be an expert but most of my friends generally see eye to eye with me on a lot of these lessons.

Stop trying to change the guy.

I still meet a lot of women that want that swept off their feet, knight in shining armor kinda love. Fucking Disney movies man! Oh course they want to be treated like princesses. They wanna feel loved and beautiful and a handful of other things that you can find in a Colbie Calliat song. But that shit don’t exist.

When a dude dates a girl, he likes the majority of the girl. Meaning that he probably likes >50% of the girl as a whole. The one he marries probably is closer to 80%. However, they don’t try to make their girls perfect. We don’t ask chicks to change for us unless its something bad like a crack addiction or she is a degenerate gambler.  But for the most part we know what we signed up for and we just let that shit slide.

Girls on the other hand will date a guy who is 85% perfect and they will nag and try to force their dudes to fix the 15% of them.  It’s ultimately a selfish thing. For example, a girl gave me shit for being a cigarette smoker. She said that she hated the smell. Sure she can mask the hatred for the smell and say that its better for my health to not smoke. But ultimately, its because they don’t wanna smell it on my breath. I get it, its not a great scent but bitch this is what you signed up for.

If a dude fights back or reacts negatively to the nagging, a lot of girls will dismiss that since we think differently, we are stupid. Ladies, guys understand the way you think but we don’t feel the same way most of the times. Us not going along with your thoughts isn’t because we are completely oblivious but rather our way of saying fuck it I am taking a stand.

Now the perceived ignorance and apathy of how you think can lead you to think that the guy doesn’t like/love you. You jumping to that conclusion usually means its time to split. Because then it falls into “lets set up tests and hoops for the guy to pass and jump true just to prove he still cares” phase. It’s a stupid fucking game and if a guy had a backbone at this point he would tell you to shit a square. (Fortunately, most guys are smarter than me and not say those words verbatim.)

Im sure everyone has heard the saying no one is perfect.  So you looking for the perfect man, the perfect ring, the perfect wedding is ultimately a futile act. Hold on to whats real and available at hand and be thankful for that. If not you just gonna end up a sad old cat lady (thats a bad thing).

Posted March 17th, 2012 by

Since I was a kid, I was always fascinated with martial arts films. I know its not shocking given the shape of my eyes. But my dad was really into watching them Chinese films were muthafuckas were fighting on tree branches for no reason.  Bruce Lee movies were virtually worshipped at my house. I watched em all. Hell I did various forms of martial arts for close to 20 years.

To this day, I will watch a shitty martial arts film on Netflix. I have no idea why I gravitate toward em. The white people version of martial arts movies were all them Chuck Norris films, The American Ninja series, Earlier Van Damme movies, and Earlier Steven Segal movies. I aint gonna lie, I watched them too.

Today, I was chatting it up with my roommate today and I got into a massive martial arts fight scene binge. So given that its been a slow day for me I wanted to share my top 5 fight scenes in a martial arts movie.

#5- Best of the Best

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This one is a little biased. I can’t explain really why I like this scene and movie in general. It’s terrible acting, terrible lines, terrible martial arts from TEAM USA. But ultimately seeing the Rhee Brothers beating the crap out of each other was entertaining. And given that I was a taekwondo instructor, I can’t help but love this scene.

#4 – Drunken Master 2

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This is one epic ass fight scene. Jackie Chan is pretty underrated in my opinion because he acts like a fucking clown in his recent films but this dude is a badass asian dude.  I remember watching this scene as a kid and it fucking blew my skull off. Watching it again today, I was still fucking shocked how crazy this fight sequence is.

#3 – Fist of Legend

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Jet Li was another dude that was so badass in Asia. When he made his American Film Debut in Lethal Weapon 4, I was happy at how bad ass this dude was. Even white people were like this little asian dude is fucking scary. Then came Romeo Must Die, and I realized Jet Li just shouldn’t speak English cuz it sounds ridiculous. But this fight with the Japanese is pretty fucking badass! This story has been done by Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Donnie Yen and a handful of others. I personally thought this was the best in terms of action.

#2- Flashpoint

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I honestly think Donnie Yen should be way bigger than he is in the US. This is the first movie that isn’t vastly martial arty but damn when I saw this fight sequence, I was like this is pretty brutal. A very modern look. There is some jiu-jitsu, some judo, elements of karate, and a handful of other shit that made me wanna give the fight choreographer a bj. Seriously…

#1- Ipman

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I saw this movie a few years ago. I didn’t hear shit about the film so I figured it was gonna be a mediocre film. I was way off. Ive taken wing chun before and when I saw this film I was like damn so this is what it looks like. I know yall have seen circular punching but this aint a boxer on a speed bag or punk ass billy blanks pushing a shitty exercise video. Fucking brutal.

I know some of yall are gonna disagree but its my list. Let’s see what yall think are the best fight scenes in a movie.

Posted February 21st, 2012 by

On a recent trip to Korea, I decided to take a trip to the local massage parlor (AKA whorehouse). Let me back up and start by saying that I am not opposed to paying for sex. As long as the person I am paying for is doing it on their free will. Meaning, they aren’t some sex slave. Sometimes, a guy just doesn’t want to go on dates and deal with what society deemed as the proper way to court a lady. Instead, they just want to satiate a primal urge. A vagina is usually always feels better than your own hand.

So after some ridiculously heavy drinking, my friends and I decided to go to the massage parlor. It was an interesting place because it was a lot different from the ones I’ve been to in LA. Different in the sense that it was way out in the open.

So we get the rundown from the Madam, who happened to be semi hot herself. So she tells us its $120 for one chick and $200 for 2 girls. Knowing a deal when I hear one, I chose the 2 girl combo. So the madam tells me that the first girl will pick us. The second one we are to describe the girl that we want, and the madam will look into her stable to see if anyone fits our specifications.

So for the first round of girls, chicks one by one came into our waiting room with Eyes Wide Shut masks on. Since we didn’t have the opportunity to pick the chick, my friends and I just hoped that the girl that picked us would be decent. So I get picked and the girl leads me to her room, still with the mask on. Once inside, she takes off her mask and I was thoroughly surprised. She was pretty damn cute. So after a little small talk, she got to work and she wasn’t earth shatteringly great but I figured I was her 20th dick of the day so I understand that she wouldn’t be thaaaat thrilled. Once I took off my shirt, she kinda got shocked by the amount of chest hair I have. But all in all she did a decent job and her service was exceptional. If there was a yelp write up, I’d fucking give her 4 stars.

Not sure how to get hard from this…

So after I got done with my session with the cute chick I was led back into the waiting room. The madam asked me what type of girl I wanted next. Being that I was drunk and permanently retarded, I told her I wanted to chick with a lot of curves. I’m in Korea, and those types of girls don’t exist in that country. She tells me she has the perfect girl. She leads me to another room, where my “curvy” whore is at. I was excited because I was happy with the first girl. When the door opened, the girl standing in front of me was not good looking at all. She wasn’t even curvy! The thing that pissed me off was that she looked like she just woke up from a nap. She even had a lil pillow indention on the side of face. I walked in and closed the door behind me. She then said hello while doing a “morning stretch”. I was pretty fucking pissed because it felt like I just wasted my money on a mediocre experience. To calm myself down, I lit a cigarette in the room and she told me I shouldn’t smoke because its bad for my health. My mind was about to explode. I just got health advice from someone you sucks dicks for a living. Ughhh. So I put out the cigarette and we got down to fucking. It was totally an angry fuck. I was pulling this girls hair. I was whispering nonsense in her ear. “Santa Claus aint real” I whispered, which confused the hell out of her. I decided that no one should be sleeping on the job and I hope I taught her a lesson.

Yea that type of morning stretch


When my friends and I left the whorehouse, it was around 10am. I saw people in suits and briefcases going to work, while we just stepped out of a den of sin. But for some odd reason, there was no shame for me.  I went again a few days later to take more friends over there. They told us that was a 2hr wait. I left because I thought that was gross but my friends stayed.

Moral of the story: If there is a 2hr wait at a whorehouse, your hooker is busy being filled up at least 2 times before you. You should leave.

Posted February 20th, 2012 by

This Jeremy Lin Hoopla is getting out of hand. As an Asian American, I am happy for the guy. He is putting up great numbers. Borderline All-Star numbers! Some haters may argue that he hasn’t faced the top teams yet. This argument is valid. Sure they faced the Lakers (my team) but let’s be honest, any decent point guard usually puts up monster numbers against them. People drive past Fisher and Blake like they are homeless people on the street. Some might argue that 8 games is too soon to tell whether he will make be able to keep this up. Again it is a small sample size given that he played most of them games without Amare or Melo. With all that being said, we all know that this dude can play point. He is a solid guard regardless of his race. The dude can straight up play. And yes he needs to fix his high turnover numbers but I’m assuming that will come with him getting more adjusted to the game.

The thing that frustrates me is the pressure that the Asian Americans have put on him. His story is a great one. It’s a perfect underdog story. But its getting out of hand.  It started off with Floyd Mayweather and his retarded tweet about how Jeremy Lin is getting all this press cuz he is asian. As much of an idiot, Mayweather is, he is true in the sense that Jlin is getting this press because its odd to see an Asian American point guard doing well. I disagree with Mayweather saying that all black players play like this all time. This is where generalizations lead to problems.

Along those lines, Ms. Jenny Hyun, a songwriter, responded to Mayweather’s tweet with some of the most ignorant shit I have ever read. Ms. Hyun felt compelled to write some of the most racist, borderline Hitler-esque hate speech I have read in a while. I tend to have a shitty gauge for whats politically acceptable but this chick actually go damn that’s fuuccccked up. I haven’t reacted like that in a long time. I actually am more upset with her tweets than Mayweather’s tweets because she suggested eliminating black people and bringing up references to slavery.

This Bitch is retarded!

Then the next media shitstorm came when ESPN used the caption “chink in the armor” to refer to the Knicks first loss under the Lin era. The asian American online folks, the Yellow Panthers as I like to call em, went crazy. They demanded action. ESPN fired the dude that let the caption be put online and suspended the anchor who said it on stage. Even after this, people are still not too happy about it.  Personally, I was disappointed because ESPN wouldn’t have dared putting shit up like that referring to blacks, latinos, or any other minority group. They MUST have known that this was a jab at his ethnicity.  I actually tried to think of racist headlines for other ethnicities. I came up with a list but that was just to give me a small laugh. SNL’s skit about Jlin was a pretty good attempt at satirizing the situation.

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But all this got me to think, that maybe it is impossible for there to be complete racial tolerance in this country. The united states is one of the few countries with a lot of different minorities living together. It is impossible to not see color, as they say. Obviously in metropolises, like LA or NYC, these minorities tend to try to live together but even then it doesn’t work out THAAAAT well. I won’t even get into some of the backwards racist cities and towns I’ve been to in this country. As an American, I have come to accept that even my grandkids will face this type of treatment. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it but the way to “earn” the respect of other minorities is to be like Jlin. I’m not talking about his ethics and his faith but rather, its his story of not giving up and bust your ass every time you have the opportunity to do so. He don’t talk a lot of game but he definitely backs it up. He is making the most of his time and maybe that is what we should be inspired by.

For the Asian Americans that are on that Jeremy Lin binge, do what you do but if you guys are really fans, then you would support him no matter what. You should ride or die with him no matter how much he rises and falls. I guarantee you he is gonna hit a slump. He is gonna put “sub-par” numbers sooner or later. Let’s not get all crazy because he dunked with no one in the lane. Stop being trend whores. Where was the support when he was riding the bench in Golden State or Houston? He strung together 8 good games and all of a sudden people are making tshirts and scouring youtube for his highlights. Your bandwagon fandom actually bothers me. People that don’t watch sports are now arguing with me on the proper way to run a pick and roll. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. Don’t tell me he has scored the most points out of anyone in the first 8 games as a starter. The stat is skewed ! Don’t even dare to say that he is best player in the NBA or that he is greater than Kobe, Lebron, Wade, and other perennial allstars. Just let the kid play and enjoy it. Root for him all you want but don’t deify him.

I wish Jlin all the best and hopefully he secured a starting spot on an NBA roster so that he can continue to do what he loves. In all honesty, that is what I see as his biggest accomplishment. That and the last second shot again Toronto cuz that was pretty fucking dope.

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