Posted December 6th, 2011 by

There is this video that is circulating around facebook about this kid that is being bullied and he thought about suicide and what not. And everyone is posting it up about how it’s a powerful video and what not. Here is the video just in case you are wondering…

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What the fuck is going on with kids of this generation? Why are they raised to be a bunch of fucking pussies? I wanna start off by saying I don’t condone bullying but if you are a victim them there is an easy fix to it. Punch the muthafucka in the throat.

I grew up being a minority amongst minorities. I needed to fight people physically and verbally to not get shat on every day. But that is how my parents raised me. My dad always said “Don’t start fights but if someone starts one with you then fucking kick his ass.” But now everyone is being coddled and going to therapy and all that other shit that really didn’t exist back when I was growing up. Don’t let yourself be a fucking victim and always hate themselves.  Your life aint that bad you fuckers. Plus if you think this is hard then you are in for a treat because life is way harder.

Let’s be honest, not that many people are happy in this world. My life is miserable and lonely,but you don’t see me trying to put a bullet through my skull.

What irks me about this whole thing is that the same people that post this video up are probably doing some bullying themselves. Every rumor you started or spread. All that shit talking you have done is a form of bullying. Yet a lot of yall put up the video for the sake of looking righteous or something. Really? Is it that moving? That it compelled you to put it on your facebook so all your “friends” can see how much of a nice person you are. You are probably a shitty human being as well that would call someone a fag, douche, asshole, slut, whore, etc.

I believe everyone is fucked up to a certain degree. You know that feeling when you hear a fucked up joke and you feel bad for laughing? That’s because you a bit of scum in you. So stop trying to hide all that shit and put up some shitty song lyric, poem, quote, or video to make yourself look like a nice person.

And for the kids being bullied stick up for yourself dammit. No one likes who they are. No one is really proud of where they are at in life. Trust me.

I just want everyone to be real with themselves and the younger generation to stop victimizing themselves.

Posted November 18th, 2011 by

For quite some time, I was trying to perform for the troops. I have had friends fight in the middle east and everytime I talk to them, they always mentioned how it would be cool for me to go out there and perform so that atleast for that amount of time, they don’t think about the fact that someone is trying to kill them every day.

Whether or not I agree with the US military presence in the middle east and in other parts of the world, these men and women are risking their lives for us. And for that I am grateful and all of you should be too. If not, go fall on a rusty nail you selfish apathetic shit vessel.

Anyways, my manager informed me a few months ago that he got me 13 gigs on various Army posts across the country. I was stoked at the opportunity to perform. I quickly realized that this tour was going to be pretty rough.  If you are not aware, a lot of the bases are in the middle of nowhere and they are a pain in the ass to get to.

It was an interesting experience since I was on the road with comics I have never met. Cerrome Russell and A Pair of Nuts (Yamil Piedra and Johnny Trabanco). A lot of times all comics talk about are bits that they do or how shitty their careers are. Trust me after a few hours of this it gets fucking annoying. However, these guys weren’t like that at all. They were fucking cool. Sure there were some posts that needed to up their hospitality game but all in all the tour was very memorable.

From shitty 8 seat planes where I thought I was gonna die for sure. To haunted hacienda rooms, to shitting on the same toilet as Gen. Patton and President/Gen. Eisenhower. That’s right at one post, we got to stay where distinguished Generals stayed in. How many of yall can say you shat on the same toilet as a former president? That’s what I thought muthafackas. Ya boy is big time.

I had a lot of fun and here are some pictures from the road:


I was awarded a coin from the Fort Sill, OK. Unfortunately this was the only coin I received.

Sometimes trailers don’t make you feel baller. This was set up as our greenroom.

If I had this growing up no one would fuck with me. 

I was told my room was haunted. I aint scared of ghosts!

But I saw this outside my room and this scared the shit out of me…

This is the church van with wings. I helped fly this thing to St. Louis. The other passengers are retarded for letting me sit co-pilot.

My name is lights. So are A Pair of Nuts, but what about Cerrome? Definitely a tour of Disrespect going on.

Cerrome and I letting people know we about to get foolish on stage.

The mansion we stayed in. Former residents include: General Patton and President Eisenhower.

After the final show at Joint Base Lewis McChord. (Yamil, Me, Cerrome, Johnny)

Thank you to all the men and women who serve in the military. God bless yall and please come home safely.

Posted November 2nd, 2011 by

1)      Rude Homeless People…

I have nothing against homeless people. Being homeless can happen to anyone and honestly I just see that as people that got dealt a shitty hand in life poker. However, I am a proponent of people being knowing their place in life. And being a bum means you gotta wait a bit longer than most folks for benefits

One day I went to downtown LA   (the California state capital of homeless folks) to pick up my buddy. Being a dude that lags like the internet at the shitty café that I am in, I was parked infront of his place. I didn’t leave the car because I didn’t want one of these dirty smelly muthafuckas to ruin my day and ask me for change.

After about 10 minutes of waiting, a homeless man walks up to my car and knocks on the window. Being a complete idiot, I roll down the window and he asks for some change. He was definitely a bum. His dirty level was at code red. Anyways, I open my ashtray/coin receptacle and get a handful of change.

I put about 1 dollar worth of change into his hand obviously without touch the hand because I am afraid of AIDS.  When he saw a bunch of pennies and nickels in his hand, he looks at me and then throws that change right back at me.

I was furious. I wanted to get out to car and kick his no future, hepetatis having ass but I was so shocked at his asshole move that it took a little while to process in my dome. If you are wondering I have actually kicked a homeless person’s ass before so that’s not beneath me. Back to the story, this dick head of a bum ran off into some alley to do bum things like take a shit on himself.

I was fucking incensced and my friend got into my car. I was like yo I gotta go home for a bit. He asked why.  I told him I needed to take a shower.

2)      Lindsey Lohan

I rarely call women cunts. Even I have limits. But Lindsey Lohan is a fucking cunt. A dirty sloppy retarded cunt.  How is this freckled non contributing zero even relevant? Ok she was hot in Mean Girls but that’s about it.

But she seems to be on the news about her alcohol problems. How she is being mistreated in jail. Its fucking Jail you are supposed to be mistreated and raped in the shower. If jail was a cake walk, I’d commit a shit ton of crimes and get caught on purpose.   And it always on the news. Just let her get her teeth kicked in there. Let her have a nervous break down.

She is a prime example of being a product of 2 fucktards. Jizz bucket whore of a mother and douchebag fucktard of a father. They mixed their X’s and Y’s and out came this fucking terrible human being.  In words of one of my heroes, “She is a cunt that came out of a cunt’s cunt.” (more…)

Posted August 27th, 2011 by

This is a little different from my usually crass posts about shitty sex exploits or fucked up situations. Its been a few months since I got back from Korea. Something hit me like a ton a bricks when I was out there.

Someone said to me “You must be loving life man. You are getting paid to travel and do what you love to do.”

I replied “ Yea man. It’s been a dream.”

But the more and more I thought about it. I realized I wasn’t loving life. When I was working the stupid hours at KPMG I thought how awesome it would be to make a living doing what I love to do. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do for a living. The creating, the performing, etc. However, I realized that now that I am finally getting by doing whatever the fuck I do, I sat and really thought if I was happy.

Then in Korea, I randomly met a someone that was in the entertainment business there many years ago. His group was at one point was at the top of the music charts and what not. We ended up drinking for a while that night just shooting the shit in the rain. As I got a little tipsy, I told him about my concerns. He looked at me and he told me this.

“when I was younger I thought that doing what I loved to do would make me happy. When (name of his group) was on top of the charts, I was happy about the success but I realized that it came a cost. I neglected to cultivate other aspects that keep me going.”

He went on to say that he realized that he started losing contact with friends and family and it really put him in a funk. He no longer is really in the entertainment industry like he once was but he seems to have found the right balance that works for him.

So how does it all relate to me? Well I realized that I too have neglected close friends and family in the last few years. Sure they are busy with their lives too but I realized that I haven’t been a good friend, brother, or son.  When shit hits the fan, I know that my good friends will always be there to help me out.  Without a doubt I am sure that they all have my back. However, sometimes you feel like shit when you realize that you haven’t seen em or talked to them in more than a year.

I want to clarify. Just because we hang out often and have a drink every now again don’t me friendship to me. Let’s get it straight. Those people are just acquaintances. Real friends are people you are truly selfless for and hopefully they feel the same way. Friends aren’t made because of convenience but because of a bond that can’t be explained by situations and examples. Rather, its just there.

I guess the point of all of this is to all my close friends who will get a chance to read this, I will try my best to do better. I trust that you guys will try to keep me accountable in my actions. Thanks for you time.

Posted June 21st, 2011 by

Korea is an interesting place. Being from LA I thought I knew enough about Koreans with my dealings with my parents, their friends, ktown, Korean shows, etc. But when I came here, it wasn’t anything I expected.

Plastic Surgery

Most importantly, I was surprised to see so many chicks with surgery done. I mean I aint against plastic surgery but it’s a little shocking when 1 out of 3 girls on the street have pronounced noses and double eyelids. I almost feel like its an insult to God. “Hey God, thanks for creating everything but I think you kinda fucked up my face so I am got this person’s nose, and that person’s eyes.” These mix and match face bitches are kinda bugging me out. But its ok, I’d still like to impregnate them. I can’t help it. I like women, plastic face or not.