Howdy Folks. Its been a long time. I am away that I have probably 5 active readers here now. So for those five, here is what has happened and what will happen.
Has Happened:
Virginia Tech Show
First of all, shout outs to all the staff members of AASU of Virginia Tech. They were very helpful and showed me around. So when I got booked to the gig I was tripping a little because its the place where that kid shot up 32 people a few years back. I know its a sensitive issue and me having the moral compass of Hilter, I was a bit worried about my material. Should I or shouldn’t I go tell whats on my mind. Personally, I know its a shitty situation and lives were lost but to me comedy comes from tragedy.
I am a bit of an ego maniac at times and when I did a google search, I realized that I am not even in the top 3 most famous cho’s in america. Its John, Margaret and that fucker that shot up people. Honestly, I have been doing stand up for the last 9 years and even though I have done some tv work and did some youtube videos that had some popularity, what this fucker did in a few hours made him more famous than me. Fuckin asshole.
Anyways, VA Tech was pretty cool. I did an hour and 1/2 set. I even got a chance to meet some people that have supported me for a while. Thanks Jamie and Jeff for always supporting and coming to the show. I appreciate it very much.
Jeff’s friends and family told him that he looks like me. I told him he should punch is friends and family.
Anyways, after the gig, we go to this seafood restaurant/bar/club (Yea it was gonna be an adventure). I had a few drinks with the staff grabbed a bit to eat then went to my hotel. The hotel was nice. It looked like a fucking stone manor/castle.
This was taken by hotels.com. When I got there it was just gloomy and raining.
Anyways, at the hotel, I had to be the youngest person at the hotel. There seemed to be some sort of old people’s convention going on. Everyone I saw at the lobby had to be in there 70’s. And although I have looked at gmilf porn before, it is not on my bucket list to bang an old lady with dentures. Ughh. So that was my trip to VA Tech.
Will Happen:
One day, I had to throw a party/concert and my first idea, with the help of my friends is coming to fruition.
TEAM PACQUIAO, CRAVE NIGHTS & FR*A PRESENTS..
Halloween Bash 2009
Philippines Disaster Relief Fundraiser
Date: Friday, October 30th, 2009
Time: 10:00pm – 2:00am
Location: Club Nokia in LA Live Center
800 W. Olympic Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Performers:
Macy Gray – DJ Nemesis Jaxson on the 1s & 2s
Kaba Modern – MTV America’s Best Dance Crew
David Choi – YouTube Singer / Songwriter
Danny Cho – MadTV, Comedian
Jason Yang – YouTube Electric Violin Virtuoso
Special Guests:
Team Pacquiao – Freddy Roach
C.S Lee – Dexter
Leonardo Nam – The Perfect Score, The Fast and the Furious-Tokyo Drift, Vantage Point, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1 & 2
Aaron Yoo – Disturbia, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
Justin Chon – Twilight, Just Jordan
James Kyson Lee – NBC’s Heroes
and much, much more (trust us on this!)
VIP tickets will give you access to the Celebrity VIP area to meet all our celebrity guests. VIP tickets are almost sold out so pick up your VIP tickets now!
There will be lots of hot chicks. I will be there. Lots of celebrity appearance. Trust me on this, its gonna be off the chain. For tickets go to : http://framagazine.com/hb09/!
One more thing!
Funniest Story of the Year:
My buddy and I were drunk at a bar and he proceeds to tell me the funniest story I have ever heard.
My buddy KSW tells me that he got his circumcised a tad bit later than normal males. Anything after the first year is a tad bit late in my book. If you remember the surgery then it’s too late. So back to KSW’s story…
He explained to me that his family was pretty poor. Hence they couldn’t afford to do the surgery in the States. During the 8th grade, my homie and his parents go to Korea. While they were there, his mom decided that this was a perfect time for KSW to get a circumcision. KSW and his mom go to the surgeon’s place which he said looked like an “abortion clinic”. (I’ve been to an abortion clinic and it is not a fun place to be at. Just picture a bunch of teenage girls with dead beady eyes because they are about to commit murder. I am pro-choice btw) Anyways, while filling out the paper work, KSW’s mom proceeds to bargain with the doctor. See in Korea, you are used to bargaining for clothes, groceries, sex, etc. However, this mom tries to bargain the price of her son’s circumcision surgery. If someone was doing any type of work on my penis, personally, I want him to be in a content state of mind. In Korean the phrase for please cut down the price for me is “Kkah Kuh joo sae yo” The phrase to ask someone to cut this off is also “kkah kuh joo sae yo.”
Anyways, KSW remembers getting local anesthesia and they gave him a korean comicbook to read while the doctor got to work making him less of a barbarian. He can hear the whole thing: the sound of the cutting, what the doctor is saying. After the surgery, they put a Dixie cup over his cock, and tells him to come back every week. When he walked outside the room, with a bulge in his pants due to a drinking apparatus in his pants, he realized that his mom was gone. He quickly remembered that his mom gave him subway money. Not taxi money because that is expensive apparently. That’s kinda fucked up if you ask me but that’s how most ghetto Korean moms are. So KSW duck walks to the subway station while everyone is staring at him.
Korean version of a penis cast. I can’t find a picture of a smaller dixie cup.
He tells me once the anesthesia wore off, he was in some ridiculous pain. I feel bad for the dude. The cherry on top of this whole ordeal is that he was going through puberty at the time so he would have the stitches re-open frequently. As a guy, having a boner is an interesting feeling. I actually enjoy the sensation of blood rushing to the penis. But KSW couldn’t enjoy that sensation. Every morning sucked for him because of the morning wood. Poor dude.
He had to go back to the doctor’s office every week for a month or so. All the doctor did during the follow-ups was put baby powder on his wound and sent him back home. Oh one more thing, the doctor’s said that the stitches would dissolve after a while put apparently they haven’t. He says he has thread in his cock to this day. Poor dude and I feel bad for putting this story all in the open but its too funny to me.
I have been kinda in the lab (cafe mak) writing and trying to come up with another new hour of material. Its been tough and a lot of times I am just caught looking at fobby korean girls in their ed hardy bedazzled hats. Ughh!
Anyways, the reason for this writing is because as a comedian, you always try to write material. George Carlin has 14 HBO specials under his belt. That 14 plus hours of material. That’s crazy! Dave Chappelle did a 6 hour set at the Laugh Factory a few years back. Thats nutty! So when I see geniuses like that, I am always put in check to work harder on the craft.
Unfortunately for me I have had writers block for about 3 weeks. I would sit here for hours just trying to write with stupid bullet points like taking viagra to jerk off. I have no idea where that bullet point will lead to. My other bullet point I wrote down today is “getting into a fist fight over shotgun”. Well enough of me complaining about my inability to come up with something new and fresh. Here is a couple of interesting things that happened recently.
Last Thursday (On Broadway in San Diego)
So I get a call around Noon on Thursday from my buddy Big Phony. He asked if I wanted to go to San Diego to check out Far East Movement. Since, I had absolutely nothing to do that day, I figured sure why not. The show was sponsored by my buddies FR*A.
He head to good ole San Diego. The land of perfect weather and the famous California Burritos. I had my mind set on getting me a california burrito from Super Sergios. Sure there are many burrito joints in SD but I would say, hands down Super Sergios is (imitating Nacho Libre) the best.
So me, the phony, mc mong and sora head to SD. We get there and meet up with DPD, Tommy, Angiewulala, and Kenny. We go to Coronado Island. (Guys: if you want to get your romantic on. I would suggest taking your GF to Coronado Island. If that don’t make her drop her panties for her then she aint worth it. )
Anyways we ate, drank, and was merry. We went back to downtown SD and met up with Afterschool Special and FM. The club was packed. It was fun and FM killed. So after the set I was itching to get Super Sergios. After the typical, 2 hours of fucking around we finally leave and to my utter disappointment, Super Sergio’s was closed. Those assholes!
We ended up at El Coti’s with the folks of allkpop. The food was eh but it was fun nonetheless it was good to take a break for all the madness.
The reason for the madness is because these next few months is going to be non stop traveling and gig everywhere.
First Gig for this coming week is in Virginia Tech!
For all those in the VA area. Holler!
Sorry, I have been extremely lazy with updating and blogging. Here is the picture of week that got me laughing for a bit.
I know there are many pictures like this on the net but this one had me in stitches. But this is my take on Kanye.
I never liked the guy. I mean he had good music. He is a good producer. However, he always came off like an asshole to me. I am all for speaking your mind. Hell, I speak my mind all the time. But really. I am not familiar with Taylor Swift’s music or her video but I must say what he did was fucked up. Kanye, if you are reading, please go sit down somewhere and not talk. You are an asshole and I hope you fall in a well or manhole or something. Thanks…
Now onto something that I haven’t understood for a while. I get prayer. I understand it. But I feel like sometimes its not a right time. I know people that are drunk out of their minds, and when they go for their late night dining, they pray before the meal. I am always confused by this because what would you say to God drunk. I am sure you sound drunk already during the prayer. “Imma fucking destroy this grand slam breakfast right now, God. Thanks for inventing Denny’s and shit” If I was God, I would be like just write it down and tell me later bro.
I know quite a few Jesus-freaks are gonna email me on this one but it was just a thought. So relax.
I have a few college gigs coming up so look at the calendar and see if yall can make it out. First stop, Virginia Tech!
Lots of people think that this business and lifestyle is cake but its really not. Sure, I don’t have to go into a shitty ass 9-5. I don’t have to punch in and punch out but its really not all that fabulous. Being in this industry is not that fun at all. Let me give you and example:
My agent recently got me a commercial audition. There was no description of what I was supposed to do and no lines to memorize so I was like cool. This is gonna be easy. I get to the casting place and I look at directions and still nothing was clear. All I knew was that I had to hula hoop (I can’t hula hoop btw). Its something I never really got around to learn. Anyways, so I get called in. The casting director tells me to take off my shirt. I was a lil shocked because I didn’t think I had to suck cock to get the gig. So I did and he points at a hula hoop and tells me to hula hoop topless. I swear I thought i was getting punk’d. But I quickly realized that I am not famous so punk’d was out of the question. So here I am attempting to hula hoop. I didn’t do so hot. The casting director told me to stop and kicked me out of the room. So I get in my car thinking what in the fuck am I doing with my life.
There are tons of personal experiences about this industry that have made me a tad bit jaded.
In addition to the shitty everyday non glam stuff that I go through, there are times when you get to meet pretty big people in the industry. From musicians, actors, and comedians. I have noticed an alarming trend. There are a lot of fucking assholes out there. I won’t name names because that is never smart in this business but let me just say this. Popularity and fame are like bubbles. They will eventually pop. So for any asshole celebs that happen to get to read this post be humble. Remember the times when you had to struggle and all the people that have helped you along the way. You aint got no business being a fucking diva. I have just been rubbed the wrong way by many people with some sort of fame.
I realize that people might read this and think i am bitter and maybe I am a little. I will say this. I love being on stage and making folks laugh. If I could perform everyday on stage then shit I would be content. I love the performance aspect of what I do. I love telling stories about my life. Its therapy for me.
While I say there are a handfull of asshole celebrities I have met, there are also a ton of great celebrities. Nice and down to earth people. I look at them and I am thoroughly happy that I got to meet these great individuals. It must be crazy for them because they are always photographed and always bombarded everywhere they go and yet they are nice folks. And to those people I say, thank you for being the inspiration to me. Thanks guys!
On to some pr for my buddies:
Slanted comedy has always been putting on great shows! Comics are always top notch and the crowd shows mad love. If you don’t have any plans tonight, I suggest you head over to the the Brea Improv and check it out. Lots of special guests will be there. Trust me, its gonna be an awesome show. Shout outs to Black Mike and Edwin. Thanks for the many shows you have booked me on. Good shit brothas!
Now onto Sunday.
International Secret Agents Show (ISA) is gonna be super duper bananas. First of all, all the acts are pretty fucking crazy dope. The show is already sold out! And the homies Fareast Movement and Wongfu Productions are throwing this muthafucka. I was at last years show and it was pretty nutty. This year I expect it to be even nuttier!
Before I get into the shows this week, I wanted to vent about a shitty thing that happened last night. So, I was hanging with my buddy til pretty late. When I got to my car to drive home, I see that one side of my car was lower than usual. I look and one of my tires were slashed.
Changing a flat tire is a bitch at any time of the day, but its quite possible the worst in the middle of the night. If by some chance, the one responsible for my slashed tire reads this, I want I hope you go kill yourself. Thanks…
Ok now onto some my shows for the week.
THURSDAY
I got booked to a show at the Spotlight Comedy Club. Its a club in Studio City. Its my first time there and I need your help. It would help out greatly if yall can come through to the show.
THURSDAY NIGHT COMEDY
Produced by Spotlight Comedy Club
Time: 7:30-9:30PM
Cost: $10 (+1 Item Minimum)
The Spotlight Comedy Club is located inside the Aura Nightclub
12215 Ventura Blvd
Studio City, CA 91604-2533
(818) 487-1488
I dunno the full line up but my buddy Rajiv is gonna be there as well! If you dont know this dude you are missing out. Dude has opened for a lot comics including Russell Peters, Jo Koy, Kevin Nealon, and plenty more. Check it out holmes! www.funnyindian.com for info on Rajiv
“The Spotlight Comedy Club features 2 hours of Laugh Out Loud comedy. The show features an array of comedy personalities, including both professional and young talent. The show is a high pace and high energy show, so be prepared to laugh hard.”
Friday
Click on the Image for Tickets. Its gonna be an awesome show and there is going to be a Special Superstar Guests!!! Get your tickets quick cuz they gonna sell out soon!
