So the homie Dumbfoundead hit me up and ask me to be a part of his web series. Here is the first episode. I play an asshole north korean dude. What else is new…
The boys gather up after Danny has a rough gig. Here are some of the things we talked about:
FOBS teaching English,
Taking weed while travelling,
Danny wants a dog (as a pet),
Asian Avenue Stories,
Danny’s hellish gig,
A cure for AIDS,
Kevin Costner Movies,
Danny’s hatred of seafood and vegetarian.
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The boys are joined by our buddy Shane Yoon. He was just chilling with us so we told him to jump on. Here are the topics covered:
Candy Crush Frustrations,
Danny’s Recap of his Korea Trip,
Star Trek and Fast and the Furious 6,
South Korean President’s Aide Sexual Harrassment Scandal,
Kobe vs Jordan,
A new ramen combo
And Much More,
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All my life, I have had to deal with Golddiggin Whores (GDW). The first girl I ever had sex with slept with me so I can give her free shit from my parents store. This GDW gave up her vagina for flaming hot cheetoes and lucas candy. I didn’t think much of it because I was young and hell I was getting vagina for virtually free. Well if you factor in the cost of the chips and candy it probably came out to 20 cents. Not bad right? Anyways, as I got older, the levels and in which these GDW have evolved to make me wanna punch these bitches in the throat. On my recent trip to Korea, I saw it so blatantly I had to take a step away from the crowd because I was about to snap.
My friend and I were walking down a pretty popular street in Seoul. Garosugil if you are curious. This area is kinda like The Grove and Larchmont rolled into one. The main street is lined with clothing stores, coffee shops, and restaurants. Most of the people walking through that day were a bunch of plastic faced monsters. The weather was pretty nice when I got out there, so these chicks were very dolled up and as a horny man, it was very pleasing to look at. A bunch of head turners. Out of all this chicks though, 2 caught my eye. They were walking toward my friend and I. Just as this was happening, a Porsche 911 zooms past us and one of those girls said, “ughh that like soooo the older model”. Her friend shook her head like “I know right? How tacky.” I almost jumped infront of these no good GDWs and yell “ Yo! You bitches are walking!” But given that I have been trying to be a nicer positive person, I held it in. Barely.
And every girl I met out there, just yapped about money. I wanna buy this, I wanna wear that. I was like yo, what the fuck are wrong with these bitches. Why are they so obsessed with material things. So I really tried to figure out the psyche of these GDW.
Right off the bat, I just want to say, that, Yes, I am willing to give everything I have and own to a woman that deserves it. The problem is these GDW are trying to sell something that aint all that great. So let’s say I give one of you GDW everything I have. What do I get in return? If the answer is your looks and your vagina, you are out your Goddamn mind. What you goofy bitches don’t understand is that your looks and vagina are a depreciating asset. So in order for you to be an appreciating asset, you gotta do shit that makes us appreciate you. Most importantly, you gotta appreciate that for a guy to try to be a nice guy, they gotta constantly gotta do shit that goes against their biological make up.
Now the line that most these GDW’s will say is that they have more to offer than just their looks. Ok then, tell me what it is. I can wait all day. Do you think its your dazzling personality? Do you think its your smarts? Do you think is your impeccable diligence in making sure the house is sparkling clean? Nope… With a GDW’s mentality, I am willing to bet good money, you aint any of those things mentioned above. The reason you bitches still have hope is because rich goofy muthafuckas are still falling for it. If you really think about it, there isn’t much of a difference between a GDW and a hooker.
Some may even argue that our money represents the ability to provide stability for the family there are gonna build with them. Yes, it’s a good selection process. It really does make sense, buuuuuuuut again what chick you know with a GDW’s mentality would be able to raise a family properly. You see when you have symptoms of GDW you are incapable of being selfless. And thats the most important thing about raising a family. So what is it that you have to offer in return?
Lets play this game. Say some dude, falls head over heels for a GDW. He is willing to give the bitch all he has. He works his ass off to make that chick happy. Buying her shit, spoiling her, and treating this entitled cunt like a princess. But sooner or later, the dude will realize that the lust/passion he has for his woman is no longer there. Then, what… He is gonna try to find back that lust and passion but with some other chick. And once the girl finds out. Bam! Divorce! And that GDW is gonna play like a victim and take half the dudes shit.
Sure the dude is at fault to for going all in on some dumb shit. But the root of the whole problem are these GDWs.
Let me give you an analogy to explain this situation. When I was 16, I saved money to buy my first car. Like most kids, we wanted our first car to be cool. It better look cool. So, I went ahead and bought a Mitsubishi Eclipse Turbo. Don’t judge me, back that rice rockets were hot. Anyways, the first day I got it, I was driving in my neighborhood, when this cholo pulled up next to me in a shitty 1988 Oldsmobile. That shit was beat the fuck up. Doors were different colors. Primer on the hood. The cholo goes, “Ey Chino, You wanna race?” I looked at the cholo like he was fucking nuts. Is this guy kidding me? I’d destroy him. with my aerodynamic/ sexy ass car. So we start to race and I tried to gun it but next thing I know, I see the cholo a good half a block ahead of me. When we got the the next stop light, the cholo waited for me and was like “Ey foo, your car is a piece of shit holmes.” He then drove away. I hated my car after that but it was a lesson learned.
You see kids, a GDW is like my Eclipse. It may look nice but the engine, the transmission, pretty much engineering of the car was a piece of shit. You can put a spoiler on that shit, you can get a nicer body kit, lower that shit but ultimately it’s a piece of shit right out the factory. And just like a car, every day goes by, that car is worth less and less. Yes certain cars go from old cars to classics, but lets be honest, how many eclipses will be revered like a Shelby mustang? Just cuz I can see into the future, Imma tell you the answer is zero.
So my message is pretty simple…
To the guys… Yo, don’t empower these GDWs. I know its hard. These girls keep getting cuter and hotter. But you muthafuckas need to stay strong and just fuck these bitches and move on. Let em get to an age when they realize their vaginas are expired. Then let em figure out the lesson the hard way.
To the GDWs… Look, I understand your hustle. At the end of the day, you are banking on the fact that you making/stealing/getting money and material will be justified because you are pretty and deserve it. Furthermore, You will believe that this is to protect your future. But in all honesty, take a step back and realize that you are nothing more than a patient hooker if you don’t work on other skills and personality traits. And I mean really self assess and improve on skills that last a lifetime.
Because at the end of the day, I wanna be able to hate people less. Thanks!
The boys were recording for many hours for this one. We definitely sound delerious and pretty lit the hell up. Here are some of the topics covered:
Denkym finally has sex in his new apartment,
Danny’s new fob biness
Danny’s new outlook on comedy,
Danny’s days as a business consultant,
Headright’s fondness of Disney shows,
Headright story about fighting a chick,
and much more.
Please rate, share, and comment! Thanks fuckers!