This one is to really get to know Denkym. He talks about his Third Eye Adventures, what is the third eye, some more hippie shit, a really bad drug trip, high functioning stoner, Headright’s terrible Jay Z imitation. dating older women and other silly sh*t.
Danny, Denkym, and Headright talk about The Man with the Iron Fist, vagina shapes, people starting off on porn, whorehouse ettiquette, and handful of other silly sh*t. First podcast with mic stands. Yea we are ballin like that. Shiiiit.
Well since my friends and I have pretty brutal and random questions, I figure why not just record something that reflects how we really are. So here is the first episode of the Fuck It Podcast where me, Denkym, and Headright just shoot the shit about a topics like Racism, Porn, Anal Licking, Spiritual Warfare, and handful of other shit…
Guys, don’t fall in love with pussy. I mean all guys love pussy but don’t fall in love with it. There is a difference. Don’t put that shit on a pedestal because its not as magical as you think it is. I know chicks think their pussy is great but it aint. I’ll tell you why. I’ve had great sex and I’ve had bad sex buuuuuut… I’ve nutted every single time. So that means, pussy aint the x factor. The only thing about pussy is that its always better than jerking off. If its terrible sex, I’m just thinking of your vagina as just an awesome giant female hand.
I know this sounds awful and im sure you chicks think I’m an asshole. But hear me out… First of all, I ain’t saying that you should just give up your vagina easily. Don’t be a whore about it. However, we know that unless you a dirty bitch, you are gonna make us work for it so you can see the true intent of the guy. You want your man to be real. You complain that when we do fuck then we change. What you don’t seem to understand is that until we get that pussy we ain’t being real. We are just trying to crack that safe, aka your vagina. It’s like that movie entrapment where Catherine zeta jones is dodging lasers to steal something. Us saying, oh you look beautiful in that dress, is us just dodging one laser. Opening that car door for you and pulling out the chair for you during dinner is us dodging some more fucking lasers. Once we get it, we figure we don’t need to re dodge the lasers. Fuck that.
And to add to that its not like you chicks are on hundred percent real with us either. Why is it that when we are just seeing each other, you are always dolled up. You wear the sexy panties. You got the make up on. And then when we are a couple, you are like fuck the yoga pants. I’m wearing sweats and ugg boats without make up. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve dated that look like Jamie Chung or Lucy Liu in the beginning and once we are a steady couple they start looking like Jackie Chan. That’s just as fake as me lying about loving kids and puppies.
And while we are on the subject of pussy. There was this homeless chick that was giving blowjobs for chicken mcnuggets. Now I am sure you chicks are fucking judging this chick. But you chicks are doing the same thing. Us buying you dinner and drinks are just really expensive chicken mcnuggets. So you not as that much greater than this homeless chick.
So you want us to respect you. It’s really pretty simple. 1)Understand that we act and think differently to you and accept it. Don’t dismiss that we are retarded because we don’t think and act like you. 2)Confidence is great but be self aware. If you a big bitch then don’t mask it by saying that you are curvy. I used to be skinny but once my underwear elastic folded like a zigzag rolling papers, I was like yo I’m a fat fuck. I never described myself as chubby or fluffy. 3)Be good on your own. Sure we love to spend time with you if you are cool but even if we don’t hang out do your thing. Have a life outside of me. 4) Respect me as a man. Once you respect me as the king of the household, then you are fit to be the queen of it.
So what’s the end goal? Let’s say its for us to get married. Men and women. Well dear chicks, this is how you becoming marry-able to a guy. You gotta pass these tests and in this order. First you gotta pass the dick test. The dick test is to see if you are fuckable. And lets be honest, its not that hard to pass that test. As long as you aren’t unrapeable, you pass that test. Just don’t be embarrassing to take out in public and we are cool.
The next test is the heart test. I gotta love you and you gotta love me back. Buuuuut, the way we love you is different. Its not that horseshit you think love is. It aint the first person I wanna see when I wake up bullshit. You wanna know what love is. Love is when even if your man gotta a small thang, when you go down on him, you fake gag. Its you being selfless. It’s the same when you fake an orgasm. It’s just to trick us into thinking we are doing a good job. It’s just like when even though you look like a train wreck in a certain outfit, I’m gonna say you look pretty so your feelings don’t get hurt. Love is just the act of being selfless. It’s hard but if you really think about it, you can love anyone if you just try to. Yes I know its not romantic to you chicks but this is how I really see it.
The final test is the brain test. This is to see if it makes sense that I can live with this bitch for the rest of my life. Lots of people think that the heart and brain test are one in the same but it really isn’t. Cuz I can fuck and love a crackhead. I’ve seen lots of fly ass crackheads but lets be honest, there is no way in hell I’ll live with one. That’s just crazy.
And ladies need to understand that you holding your pussy hostage wont make us respect you. So when you pull that the if you love me you would do x,y, and z bullshit, we don’t do it cuz we love you. Look we love our moms more than any woman in the world. And we typically don’t listen to her. What makes you think you deserve our will more than our moms? The only difference is we don’t want to fuck our moms. We aint doing it cuz we love you. We are doing it cuz we want to fuck you.
In Korean culture, we have been taught to respect our elders. Hence, there are special protocols when dealing with someone older in Korean Culture. From the formal way of speaking, to pouring drinks with two hands, to calling older people hyung and noona or (oppa and unnie if you are a chick). Even if they are a year older.
Now in theory, this is good practice. Ideally, the more years you have lived in life, you should be wiser than your younger counterparts. And I have met a few wise people in my life that have really helped me think clearly when I am dealing with some of my problems. Unfortunately, these wise people aren’t as abundant as you would expect. And it just made realize, maybe we are doing things wrong. As a people as a whole, we really aint shit.
When I read about the mass shootings in CT or the school stabbings in China, I can’t help but think, why should the younger generation respect the older generation. If the kids are supposed to learn from us, and this is how we repay them. This is what we teach them, then why the fuck should they treat us with respect. It is our job to inspire younger generation. And I aint saying live like a saint or some impossible shit like that.
I’ve dealt with random murder and killings in my personal life. I wont get into all that here. But it brings me to a more fundamental point. Respect should be earned. Not just given because you meet some requirements. I aint giving you respect because you parents fucked earlier than mine. Personally, I respect people that I can learn from. Not just because of their accomplishments and success they garnered from their career, but more so because of their personality and character. Again, people that I consider my life mentors, aren’t saints by any means. But at least for me, I am able to learn from them. I am inspired by them. Those are the people I will call hyung and noona. And yes, I’d call a white dude hyung if he hits that’s those things I mentioned above.
Hell, I have met plenty of pastors and priests and other supposed holy men that are shady motherfuckers. So I aint just doling out my respect to these fools. At the end of the day, one of the key reasons I don’t like people is because many people I have met clearly expect things. Money, Success, Respect, Power, etc. But they haven’t really done shit to really get any of these things. If you think you are working hard, you probably aren’t. It’s really people over estimating themselves. There isn’t anything wrong for you to want these things but all that shit isn’t just given to you. So fucking work. Not just in your career but work as a person.
Granted, I aint really a model of morals either. But I don’t go around thinking I deserve anything. I deserve exactly what I have now. And if I really want to be respected then ill probably have to change me more.
So if you want to be respected, then look to yourself first before you start chastising. Cuz currently, we are doing a shitty job being hyungs, noonas, oppas, and unnies. By the way, if you want to be respected, then you probably don’t deserve it anyways.