I recently bought this hd pocket camera. I figured I could document some of the things I do and so here is my first couple of video’s I have shot:
I want to start a series called Why I am such a fat ass. It’s just to show the random restaurants I eat at. I eat out a lot. (Mischievous Grin)
My Friend Lanny Joon is pretty weird. He is single ladies so if you wanna get with this piece of hot male then holler.
I started dating this girl right after college. She was damn cool. Things were going great. After being together for a while, I really had that forever feeling about her. She is probably the only person I ever told that I loved. I was gonna marry this girl. I started saving up a gang of money to buy that engagement ring. Thinking of countless ways to propose to her and knock her socks off because of those crazy fucking De Beers commercials.
Then things took a turn for the worse. We started arguing. Rather she was yelling at me and me just wondering why fuck this is happening. Why did this chick, who I thought I could see myself for the rest of my life with, change? Things got really rocky.
During the time period that things were shitty between us. I guess I made an effort to try to fix our relationship so we decided to go to a resort and just get away and have a nice weekend together. We get to the resort. It was fucking beautiful. We had a great dinner, we then headed to the hot tub and frolicked for a bit. Then we made our way back to our hotel room. Things were going great. We start playing bedroom baseball and she stops me at 2nd base. She says that she hasn’t had her period in a few months. I was thinking, you could have told me this last month. Obviously I didn’t say this because I didn’t want to come off like an asshole. This is not a good thing for all you young kids reading this.
So like any panicking boyfriend I suggested a semi solution to this problem. “Want me to go get a pregnancy test?” This was the shitty suggestion I threw out into the air. Like flock of pigeons, these words exited my mouth and fluttered into the sky. She thought it was a great idea. So I proceed to call the concierge to ask where the nearest open pharmacy is. He tells me that the nearest Rite Aid is 5 miles away. So I get the directions and head over to Rite Aid at 3AM. This was one errand I was not looking forward to.
So I get to the place and to my surprise, the Rite Aid was not empty at all. Everyone in the building was old white ladies. They were buying their denture glue, Ensure, and adult diapers. Then there was me with a bottle of advil and a pregnancy test. All the old ladies were looking at me like I was raised wrong. Why are pregnancy tests so damn expensive? So I purchase the items and feel the stares of the old ladies. First Pearl Harbor now this is what I assume they were thinking.
So I am driving back to the hotel with many crazy thoughts in my head. If she is preggo what do I do? Should I kick her in the stomach when she is sleeping? What do I do? My headache was amplified at this point. I finally get back to the hotel after what felt like an eternity. My girl pisses on the stick and we wait for a while. Turns out she aint pregnant. She then proceeds to get back in the mood again to bump uglies. In my head, I wanted to shake her and yell, “do you know what the fuck you just put me through?!” But I didn’t. Guys just don’t reject free pussy.
Things didn’t really get better. She eventually cheated on me and that was the back breaker. We broke up and I went into some of the craziest modes of my life after that. I pretty much went apeshit with the drugs and alcohol. I don’t regret it though. I learned something about myself through this ordeal though. The lesson learned was, I am a fucking chump.
Drinking is Bad for Your Image
During my Senior Year of college, I was president of the Korean-American Students Association (KSA). The group was pretty notorious for all the drinking and smoking. We were always called the Korean Smokers and Alcoholics Association. Anyways, when I became president, I genuinely wanted to change the image of the club. Sure we would have parties and get wild but I made it a point to do community service events as well.
One of the bigger events for KSA every year is the ski trip. This particular year we had a bunch of other schools with us. UC Riverside, UC Irvine, and UC Santa Barbara all came with us. We pretty much owned Mammoth mountain that week. Anyways, every year we have a lot of Freshmen kid getting one of their first cracks at alcohol. One of my freshmen, got really trashed. Then he had the audacity call the upper classmen out. He said he could out drink all of us.
Before I get into the rest of the story, I wanted inform you readers about Koreans and their rules about respect. A younger person should never disrespect an elder. Sure it sucks to show respect to someone just because they are older but that is how it is in Korean culture.
So back to the story… We were pretty shocked by this kid calling us out. So we sat him down and went shot for shot with the kid. Tequila, Vodka, Jack Daniels were all shot. Eventually the kid was in no condition to be functional so we sent him upstairs to go to sleep.
The rest of the group just decided to resume partying. Well, after an hour or so, I started being a little concerned with the kid. A staff member (Erick) and I decide to go check on him. When we got to the room, we were hit with the stench of shit. We checked the bathroom to see if someone just left a present and didn’t flush. Nope, the bowl was clean.
After a few seconds to think, I realized that the kid shat in his pants. But just to make sure, I made Erick do a sniff test. His findings proved my theory to be true. We woke the kid up and sent him to the bathroom to wash up. But every step he took, a little piece of shit fell out of his pant leg. He left a shit trail to the bathroom.
Of course, I had Erick clean up the mess. He told me the quickest way to sober up is to clean someone else’s shit. I never tried it but I am sure he is right. Anyways, the kid’s name is a blur to me but I remember the nickname we gave him. Choco Panties. I kind of feel bad for Choco because he rarely came out to other events after that. The lesson of the day is, don’t drink too much because well shit happens.
For those that don’t know, my buddy and I wrote a script for a webisode series. I can’t really get into the details of the project but we have started shooting and things have been going great. Lots of cameos and the crew has been dope. Our last day of shoot is a club scene.
As you can imagine we had to get a space for a club. We decided since the webisode is about KTOWN, why not use the once poppin Velz. Its not called that anymore, but for one night we wanted to recreate the place that gave many of us memories.
The owners of the establishment agreed to let us use the space but, they asked us to throw a party for them to make up the business they will lose because of us. So for all yall out there please come through and party with us. The cast will be there AND lots of hot people. Trust me on this, I did most of the casting…
Please come through and support this film. We have shot some of the episodes already and the footage looks amazing!
During most of his collegiate career, SP had a roommate (Captain Rollerhockey). Captain Rollerhockey was a very interesting character. He was of Chinese decent but aside from his small eyes and crazy work ethic, he was far from Asian. We was an avid fan of Roller Hockey, hence the moniker.
Captain Rollerhockey was very much a late bloomer in everything. When his high school sweetheart broke his heart during college, he took his first swig of anything alcoholic. He got a Zima (pansy ass) and took it to campus drank it alone somewhere on campus and got drunk. I would like to repeat, he was very much a late bloomer.
During Sophomore year of college, SP was dating this hideous girl. She was an easy lay. SP set up a date with Captain Rollerhockey and his hideous girl’s older sister. The older sister was a lot better looking. Anyways, Captain Rollerhockey lost his virginity to her. When we found out, SP (a pure jackass) opened the window to his dorm room and yelled “My roommate is no longer a virgin!” Thinking this wasn’t enough, he got on his AIM buddy list and instant messaged everyone on his list. Then he did the same on Captain Rollerhockey’s, WOW’s, and mine.
Things were good in the beginning for the Captain and his chick. She was a bit of a freak so that is awesome. Anyways, Captain Rollerhockey is blind as a bat. He has glasses that were probably bulletproof. One night, they go into the bedroom. They figured that SP was fast asleep and they begin to mess around. The room was completely dark.
This is when the chick decided it would be fun to play this wonderful game of Marco Polo. The captain was sans glasses and she runs to the corner of the room. With her high pitched voice she says “Captain Rollerhockey, Catch me if you can!” The Captain did his best Frankenstein walk toward his chick and she ran to the other side of the room and yelled that she is not there. For a few minutes this was going on, then SP (who was not asleep at all) chimes in “Uh, hey guys, I am still awake.” Man I would have punched both Captain Roller Hockey and his chick squarely on their beaks.
Unfortunately for Captain Rollerhockey, his chick was a bit of a cum bucket. She actually made out with other dudes in front of him. I would have dropped kicked (ala Marty Janetty of the Rockers) the living shit out her but he was nice. They eventually broke up and the Captain became a borderline alcoholic. I am sure he can out drink me now. I am proud of him for that.