Posted June 8th, 2011 by

Wassup Yall! Long time write.

Well I will be doing shows in Korea starting next week. If you are in Korea come thru!

Posted May 20th, 2011 by

I’ve been a Laker fan all my life. I remember when I was three and my dad pointed at Magic Johnson and said that is the best basketball player I will ever see in my life. When my dad was teaching me how to play basketball, he tried to teach me the sky hook. He said it is the unstoppable shot. The Lakers were a big part of my childhood. When I was 9 I joined the neighborhood kids league and I joined the team called the Lakers. I was fairly taller than everyone on the team but they still made me the point guard. I was consumed by everything Lakers related.When Magic retired and told everyone he had HIV, I remember crying. I thought he was gonna die real soon.

I was still a fan during the dark ages. When they had Sedale Threatt, Cedric Ceballos, and Elden Campbell as the marquee players. They had Doug Christie and Anthony Peeler. No offense but you know you aint gonna win shit with a lineup like that. The Lakers barely made it to the playoffs most of those years. They didn’t make it in one year.

Then came the Shaq and Kobe era. I was thinking its crazy how dominant the team is with them. As ESPN and everyone that talked about sports claimed, they were the best 1-2 punch in the history of the sport. 1 three peat and they could have gotten more if there wasn’t drama between Kobe, Shaq, and Phil Jackson. The mystique of the Lakers started fading for me at this point. The Showtime Lakers never had these problems. Magic and Kareem always knew their roles. Worthy never complained about anything. It was what I still believe a team should be. I was slightly turned off by it but still being a Loyalist, I rooted for the purple and gold every year. When the Kobe led Lakers struggled to get into the playoffs and he was going for 50 points a game, I still rooted for them.

When Gasol came into the mix, I was relieved. It seemed like the Lake show was back to form. Things were clicking and the teamwork was pretty seamless. Even when they got Ron Artest, I wasn’t too concerned. Sure he is a little crazy but his Finals post game interview alone made it all worth it.

Then this year, they got their asses kicked by Dallas. I wasn’t upset at the sweep. I was more upset with the way they lost. Them fools didn’t even try. They were saying shit like they had trust issues. I was actually rooting for Kobe to get that ring so that people wouldn’t compare him to Jordan anymore more. Unfortunately, the this season puts the nail in the coffin. He will never be greater than MJ. The team as a whole played like a bunch of bitch asses. Andrew Bynum’s elbow was absolutely despicable. It was a completely low point in the career. Again, not because they lost but because they didn’t lose with class.

Then the last couple of days, Kareem is whining and bitching about not getting a statue in from of Staples Center. Sure statistically, Kareem deserves a statue. But him bitching about it made  me not respect him. I heard he was a dick but this really made me lose all respect for him.

Lakers you have disappointed me. I will still root for yall but I don’t think I will ever be a die hard fan like I used to be. Thanks for ruining it.

Posted May 15th, 2011 by

When you watch porn you see a lot the cum shot on the chicks face. Let me explain why that happens and why guys like it. Its because we will like cumming on things that don’t belong to us.  If a chick I was with told me to cum on a hotel wall id nut on that wall without reservations.  There are many hotel walls I have nutted on. For that matter I have nutted on tvs cabinets etc. All of them belonging to the hotel. Why because that shit aint mine. I don’t care for it. I would never nut on my own tv or my own apartment wall. That is why when a guy nuts on a chicks face its because we don’t care about you.

There is no way in hell I am cumming on the face of the mother of my children. So ladies if  a dude has given you a “baby shower” he probably thinks you are a piece of shit. And chicks if you are into that shit, please email me at

Posted May 14th, 2011 by
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Anyone that can tell a joke about Abortions and get laughs is a great comic. Kudos Ian!

Posted April 27th, 2011 by

Women I get it. You have a period once a month and you are the ones that have to give birth. It sucks. Your vagina gets put through hell. I wouldn’t want to be you guys at all. But what I don’t get is why do you have to use that as a get out of jail free card?

Why do you think its ok to be a complete raging lunatic on your period? Like you can treat your significant others like its shit and be moody and just be a bonafide killjoy every few days of the month.  Again I wanna say that I get it. If I had blood coming out of my cock once a month and my hormones are all out of whack, I too would be a little cranky. But it still doesn’t make it right. There were many girls I have been with where they would be a complete bitch for no reason. When I ask, “What the fuck is your problem?” They respond that they are on their rag. I always wonder how that really makes it ok.

The vagina in general is the root of all problems in a relationship. There used to be a girl I dated that always got UTIs (urinary tract infections). Then they need to take Uristat and drink a shit ton of cranberry juice.  I swear she got one at least twice a month. I am sure it sucks but she put me through a lot of crap for it.

Well one day I was brushing my teeth while the girl was taking a shit. (I have a high tolerance for gross.) Anyways, she is done dropping deuces. I saw her get up to wipe and I almost choked on my toothpaste. I am not an expert on wiping my ass but I’ve been doing it enough to know that wiping should be done front to back. Unfortunately Miss UTI did the exact opposite. Back to front style. No wonder this dumbass kept on getting UTIs. It because she had shit particles moved into her baby maker.

Things went downhill from there. She got mad at me because I stopped going down on her. I couldn’t tell her its because she has a dirty vagina. Hence I just kept it to myself and told her that I am not ready for a serious relationship.  Hey at least I cared enough to tell her I didn’t want to tell her she is fucking savage for wiping like a retard.